Jalebi Uncoiled

71. Are you serious?

2012-01-24T09:41:00.000-08:00

It is no secret that women of all hue love to hear 'I Love You'. But try saying it to a stranger on the street and you would know how 'serious' it could turn out to be! That you were 'serious' in saying so holds little relevance, it is considered non-serious by the 'serious' recipient. And, imagine the plight of the guy who would have rehearsed for days to be 'serious' but instead ended-up being taken 'seriously'! Don't get me wrong but I love to narrate awesome but less researched things in our lives and being 'serious' is one among them.

Are you serious about climate change? Are you serious about inflation? Are you serious about your job? What if someone were to respond: 'I'm seriously non-serious about all these and much more'. Will the heavens fall apart? Seriousness has been elusive in every age, and every age has its particular perception to being 'serious'. Our growing culture of surging silliness demands 'seriousness', that can be explored from the height of intellectual endeavor to the depths of political frivolity because being `non-serious' reflects facetious.

Curiously, however, only 'serious' persons are interested in frivolity. And, being frivolous may not necessarily mean that one is not being 'serious'. While 'seriousness' helps you hide the truth, frivolity helps one get away with truth. During one such self-introduction process in a meeting the honest disposition by a participant that he's a 'burglar' was taken lightly. Many had humorously questioned his seriousness: are you serious?

70. Embarrassing statistics

2012-01-02T22:51:00.000-08:00

Like met predictions, cricket predictions too go haywire. When cricket pundits predict century for a star player, quite often the entire team is sent packing to the pavilion within the first hundred. From analyzing moisture content in the pitch to assessing the impact of tailwind speed and from measuring the length of grass stubs on the batting arena to predicting which face of the coin will spin up, expert commentators (who are often retired cricketers) leave little to chance in foretelling the outcome of the match, if not the series.

As the expert commentator starts showering heaps of praise on a square cut, the next ball lets the empire finger point upwards. A century of such embarrassing moments could be counted in the course of a test match series. Since each expert encounters such failed predictions, getting away from any unpleasant conversation suits them. The statisticians too play to the gallery, rarely harping on 'failed predictions' by expert commentators and 'embarrassing statistics' of star players.

For the sake of fans and viewers who often feel let down by such over-hype, the selection process should be re-invented to count 'embarrassing moments' while selecting the team. How often has the batsman helped his team lose; how many times the batsman failed to reach double-figure; how often has the bowler been clobbered and how many catches have been missed by each of the players should feature in the selection criteria. It is time we stop counting 50's, 100's and 5-wicket hauls and focus on 'embarrassing statistics' instead. Television and radio channels can take a cue, let the expert commentators be shown the door for accumulating 'failed predictions'!

69. Enriching or diminishing....

2011-12-19T23:41:00.000-08:00

As the year draws to a close, lexicographers (those who work on words) search for frequently used 'words' through the year. Once accepted, quite a few of such words make it to the next edition of a dictionary. Mountainology, the study of mountains, is one among several such words that had slipped into the dictionary some years ago. That is how 'dictionary' continues to swell in size.

Blending of words too has led to emergence of new words as well. 'Jeggings', a blend between 'jeans' and 'leggings', has gained acceptance and is now a commonly used word. In similar tone, apparent reference to widespread obesity has led to coinage of the word 'globesity'. In certain instances, new words have replaced the existing expressions. Hasn't 'item number' replaced 'cabaret' in Bollywood movies?

Words are known to enrich our lives, giving fresh expressions to human emotions and thoughts. Thanks to Jarnail Singh, 'Shoe' has attained a distinct status this year - it can henceforth be conveniently called 'a weapon of mass attraction'. The equivalent of 'Arab spring' in our part of the world is 'Slap', the thunder from Harvinder Singh will continue to echo for certain politicians. Finally, use 'Sibal' as a generic replacement for 'censor'.

Whether or not 'new words of 2011' are enriching or diminishing is anybody's guess!

68. Is there a choice?

2011-12-05T22:56:00.000-08:00

Not many would disagree that life is filled with more choices than ever before. Be it food, beverages, goods or services, there are plenty to choose from. Whether big or small, simple or complex, choice has created a world of immense possibilities around us. Seemingly we are not done yet, aspiring for more to choose from. Isn't it? Because the aggregate result (from your choices) creates momentum and perpetuates life.

You go to a restaurant and choose for yourself; you go to a shopping mall and choose soap, sandal and shirt for yourself; you go to car garage and pick car of your choicest color; and most youngsters choose their brides. Life is on a roller coaster ride, you would imagine, with variety of choices spread all across. Yet, as you watch closely you'd get to see that the choices are indeed 'limited' and it is no more than Hobson's choice you end up making - either you have 'this' or 'none'.

Haven't leading brands proliferated because choices have been smartly restricted? Aren't corporations expanding their global reach on account of limiting consumer's choice? Haven't democracies enforced choice between 'better of the worst' at the ballot box? The most celebrated application of Hobson's choice in the 20th century was Henry Ford's offer of the Model-T Ford in 'any colour you like, as long as it is black.'

The idea of 'choice' is what you make of it. Neither can you choose your parents, nor can children be of your choice. And as you go to your doctor, the idea of 'choice' takes a beating. 'Doctor, we will go by your advice' is what lays the idea of choice to 'rest'. How often have you gone against your doctor's prescription? Yet, you think you can make informed choice in a world that is largely driven by Hobson's choice.

67. Argumentative, no more!

2011-11-19T23:30:00.000-08:00

Parents of teenage children unequivocally confirm that 'today's children may be poor communicators but are smart negotiators'. Gone are the days when a kid will take his father's 'no' for going to a 'movie' on its face value. The teenager today will negotiate hard and have his/her say nine-out-of-ten times. So be it, as the power of negotiation gives teenager that extra edge for building a future in a highly competitive market-driven world.

Negotiation is different from being 'argumentative', which most Indians always have been. Arguments are essential for a (un)healthy conversation; for getting across divergent viewpoints and for making one's presence felt. Amartya Sen would have more on it but for convenience sake let it be clear that 'argument' often doesn't lead us anywhere but for satisfying bloated egos of those embroiled in an argument. Good or bad, it is a cultural trait that we have come to live with, perhaps for generations!

Clearly, negotiation is an American trait that we Indians have conveniently adapted or copied. Without doubt, Americans are not only born negotiators but born salesmen too. But the question is: how did they 'sell' the idea of 'negotiation' to us? A social-anthropologist turned psychologist tells me that it comes packaged with fast food and aerated drinks. Art of negotiation gets into you with each bite of a burger and a gulp of coke cements it further.

Try it out if my argument is getting better of you!

66. Owl, by another name

2011-11-12T22:24:00.000-08:00

It is said that if you think of them in the evening you are sure to locate a few on your scalp the following morning. The more you pluck them the more these grow till the time comes for them to fall apart like civilizations. Holding them in place is part of the challenge, other being to ensure that the crowning glory is not stacked with 'grey'. Who would want to look old, whatever be the cost of hiding the truth?

So, turning to what the Romans had long perfected - the art of dyeing hair - has been compellingly convenient. Any number of advertisements on coloring packs and conditioners have kept the age-old tradition alive. Coming in several hues, the chemical cocktails on offer have kept the hair coloring industry on an unprecedented growth curve. Currently valued at US $ 20 billion, the industry is growing at an impressive rate of between 10 to 15 per cent.

Considering that wisdom is associated with greying, I wonder why we would rather seem 'young' than 'wise'. Associated with Greek goddess of wisdom Athena, 'owl' is considered to be a symbol of 'wisdom'. So, the trade-off between looking old or being wise is whether or not one would like to be seen as an 'owl'. It is, however, another matter that those who like to see themselves 'young' make an 'ullu' (meaning owl) of themselves by enriching their scalp with undesired chemicals. If you feel offended, blame the 'owl'.

(this blogger has opted for being 'wise' since Jan 1, 2011)

65. United Villages of India

2011-10-20T00:48:00.000-07:00

With cities succumbing to resource chaos and countries falling to mounting debts, it is high time the focus returns to villages - where life is still celebrated in its myriad manifestations with distinct rhythm and discreet harmony. One is reminded of Mahatma Gandhi who had said: `the true India is to be found not in its few cities, but in its seven hundred thousand villages'. Without mincing his words, Gandhi had further added: `if the villages perish, India will perish too'.

Oblivious of the dramatic decline of capitalism across the world, the growth-obsessed politicians and planners of our times are pushing villages on the brink. While the draconian `land acquisition law' will drive people away from their natural habitation, scheme to provide `employment guarantee' will provide hands-to-mouth existence for those who get evicted. The notion `less the number of villagers, better the growth prospects' is taking the country on a path of self-destruction.

Capitalist model of growth has crumbled all across, taking a heavy toll on its constituent nation-states. The fate of `United Nations' is hanging in a balance for long and the future of `United States' is anything but in dark. The nation-state theory of global governance has seemingly outlived its existence. Mahatma Gandhi was averse to the theory of nation-state and had instead argued in favor of a confederation of self-governing and self-reliant village communities.

Only be restructuring and renaming the country as `United Villages of India' can the future of the country and that of mankind be assured.

64. 2+2 is anything but 4

2011-09-20T23:48:00.000-07:00

Even since the phrase `do aur do panch' meaning `2 and 2 can add up to become 5' came into being, there has been a question mark in my mind whether or not 2+2 is anything but 4. Many would wonder if this has anything to do with the mathematics of `addition'. Still others would argue if this is worth any serious consideration. Isn't 2+2=4 a reality?

Yet, 2+2=5 persists in popular memory. No wonder, two movies with this title have been produced during past two decades. Isn't it a verbal expression reflecting how much more can be made out of what is at hand? Using smart street tricks, the rags-to-riches stories are often of those who could imagine beyond the obvious to turn things around in their favour.

One may not agree but it is said that 2+2 could be 0 in the rather abstract world of poetry and music. But let's address the fundamental question: does 2+2 equal 4? My answer is: 2+2 is not 4! If you don't believe me, add 2 drops of water to 2 drops of water. Does 2+2 not become 1? So, 2+2 could be 1. But two cats plus two pieces of sausages add up to remain 2 only.

63. New age writers

2011-09-14T04:27:00.000-07:00

Parents have no reason to complain! Without any exception, not only are their kids avid readers but prolific writers as well. The entire young generation is becoming what many in the previous generation could only aspire to become - readers as well as writers. Noted writer Sir Francis Bacon had remarked: `reading makes a full man and writing an exact man'.

Yet, parents everywhere are seen complaining about these newly acquired skills of their teenage children. Without doubt, kids have become readers and writers but what they are reading and writing are text messages only. More than half of today's teenagers don't read books - except when the exams are around. In doing so, they are cut off from the civilization of their ancestors. As if the kids care!

It is an unmissable trend of producing civilizational illiterates. According to one survey, kids between the ages of 13 and 20 send and receive an average of 3,000 texts per month. So hard pressed these kids are that they often use both `thumbs' to tap their mobiles. But in doing so these kids are becoming `angootha chhap', a common expression for those who are illiterate - placing thumb impression instead of a signature.

62. Ab goli kha...

2011-09-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

It surprises me even today how `pinch of salt' could rock the colonial boat! But it did and did so effectively that `salt satyagraha' became synonym with country's independence. Could Gandhiji ever predict the impact of his 240 kilometre walk to Dandi? My guess is as good as yours! Although I would imagine `he didn't'!

Other than shaking the pillars of the Raj, the symbolism of `salt satyagraha' by Gandhiji was much deep-rooted. Pinch of salt was not only used as a potent non-violent tool but was used in building `a community of shared experience'. Salt became the rallying point for even the poorest of the poor, everyone on the social ladder felt attached to it. Salt for once had become the glue of social cohesion!

For Indians, `salt' means `namak' and linked to it are two inseparable expressions - `namak haram' (disloyal) and `namak halal' (loyal). Gandhiji didn't want Indians to be `namak haram' of the British. By erasing salt loyalty from everybody's life, Gandhiji had detached the ruler from the ruled by breaking the unwritten social contract. Independence was gained through the non-violence of `namak'.

The 1857 revolt, in contrast, was violentally crushed because, as I understand it today, the masses had demonstrated `salt disloyalty' which could only invite the wrath of the ruler. `Sarkar, maine aapka namak khaya hai'. And the response could only be: `Ab goli kha'.

61, Bail without jail

2011-08-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

Made for each other, jail and bail seem to be the twins separated at birth. Though these don't co-exist, each is incomplete without the other. Even the most courageous man, who may not need any weapon, cannot do without a bail. The institution of bail has kept lawyers gainfully engaged. On a lighter vein, a lawyer would argue: we firmly believe that under the law every person is considered innocent until proven unable to pay us back'.

Now out on bail, Dominique Strauss-Kahn or DSK has been one such powerful person who couldn't do without it. Arrested recently on charges of sexual assault on a chambermaid in his New York Hotel, the then head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF)had to face a jail term. Though yet to be proven inncocent, DSK has nevertheless been helped in his bail by an army of lawyers!

Powerless men and men-in-power throughout modern history have had equal opportunity of going to jail, and being on bail later. That countries will face jail could never be imagined. It is only recently that Greece has been bailed out, for raping its citizens of vital monetary resources. No jail for such heinous crime though, it has been bail without jail....

60. Goodbye `good', welcome `new good'

2011-08-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

Celebrities have blurred the distinction between the good and the evil. With the gun-wielding actors, scam-tainted ministers, rape-charged politicians and killer police officers languishing in jails, the so-called `public good' of the recent past has quickly transformed into present-day `social evil'. Not for long, though! Out from jail, they return to hog the limelight through reality shows. One wonders if the evil is not the new good?

It may sound shocking but `goodness' in social life is seriously on the decline, having been replaced by what is conveniently termed as `lesser evil'. One marvels at the ingenuity of Hilary Clinton who set a trend by searching for a rare streak of goodness in Taliban, carving out `good taliban' from within the ranks and files of what till the other day was considered world's greatest enemy.

Whether you like it or not, evil has become a subjective term in the media-driven market economy of our times. The distinction between evil and good is no longer a moral or ethical question. Economics decides what is good and what is not. If an evil can sell better or can help upturn the economy, let it be the new good. Hasn't modern society endorsed good as euphemism for lesser evil?

59. Is green the new red?

2011-07-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

What has colour got to do with a revolution when revolutions are invariably `blood red'? Be it the Russian or the Chinese revolution or more recent eruptions in Egypt or Libya, revolutions have remained soaked in human blood, though none of them have ever been christened `red revoloution'.

But the revolution that promises to eradicate hunger has been painted `green'. From second green to ever green, quest for next variant of the green revolution has been high on the political agenda. That it has proved fatal to over 200,000 farmers is subsumed in the overhyped `ship to mouth' story. In giving a call for the next green revolution recently, the Prime Minister had once turned colour blind - ignoring the red tinge in the predominant green.

Should `green' be pursued that has a dominant tinge of `red' in it? Isn't red trapped in the (word) revolution surfacing within green? There are no green pastures on the other side and there are reasons for that being so. 19th century esoteric philosopher Rudolf Steiner had remarked: `green represents the dead image of life'. While green is generally seen to represent tranquil and refreshing, in many cultures green symbolizes death or the devil.

Let's be clear on green that we are talking about?

58. Depends, who the parrot is?

2011-07-22T00:45:00.000-07:00

Parrots talk because they don't want humans to learn their language. Parrots talk because there is no other way they can communicate with humans. Parrots talk to get noticed in the house for getting their primary needs fulfilled. And, who doesn't like parrots talking!

Trouble begins when humans start talking like parrots. A sweet `hello' follows a listless unpunctuated narrative about a loan or an insurance policy. Irritating from the word go, you have little option but to hang up. But like a phoenix rising from the ashes, these parrots repeat themselves quickly. Because there is no dearth of youngsters wanting to become parrots, with their parents ever eager to be supportive. They are stupid but parrots aren't because they know when not to talk!

A friend queries: what if you could see who is tweeting from the other end?

57. It is worth a fall

2011-06-20T00:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever missed out on being a victim of a `chair prank'? Undoubtedly humiliating, the experience is nonetheless virtuous. Simply put, it is the hapless squatter who has the last laugh as the cheering onlookers get their share of momentary but perverted fun. Rarely if ever is such humiliation revenged!

As the butt lands hard on the floor, many windows open with a whimper to the victim. The downside-up view of the world reveals that deceit is friendly, insult is infectious and intimidation is collective. Net response is a sheepish smile as one is helped on one's feet.

The decade-old shocking fall at the Lake Palace had evoked a hearty laughter by the victim herself. The exquisite location had propped up the young doctor for a quick picture when a trainee staff, out of sheer courtesy, had pulled the chair off. The collective laughter had saved the intern the day, and his job too.

Being at the receiving end of a `chair prank' involves a capacity of civility, for restraint, which is an extreme complicated human social achievement. It demolishes bloated ego in a flash, replacing it with patience and humility. Let someone play `chair prank' with ministers, bureaucrats and executives, their bloated egos need a quick `fall'.

(the author was victim of a `chinese chair prank' recently, the base of the China-made chair had broken away)

56. No if, only butt

2011-05-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

Isn't every bit of our conscious and sub-conscious trapped in a paradox? Else, Socrates wouldn't have said: `I know that I know nothing at all'. Paradoxically, it is said that people make decisions based not on what they actually want to do, but on what they think that other people want to do, with the result that everybody decides to do something that nobody really wants to do, but only what they thought that everybody else wanted to do.

Paradox is indeed a daily reality! Watchmen protecting millions stacked in bank lockers are paid in pennies; the best of cars on the roads are often in the hands of lowly paid drivers with dubious licenses; the maid who cooks nutritious food for her clients in often malnourished herself; and the chowkidars who guard residential apartments are rarely in the best of their health to defend themselves. The list doesn't end here!

Millions across the world go unnoticed for exposing their unshapely butt to address the nature's call. On the Cannes red carpet, however, every butt engages hundred of shutter bugs and occupies thousand inches of print space, as if there is no but, but only butt...

55. Lok Pal, need one for each neighbourhood

2011-04-11T07:22:00.000-07:00

So goes the adage, one is honest as long as not proven corrupt. Isn't it a fact that each one in a billion-plus country knows who the corrupt are: in the neighbourhood, at their respective workplaces, amongst the public servants and amidst the high and the mighty? Then why is it that the system, made up of these people, remains oblivious to the devil within?

Not only is it insipid and innocuous, corruption remains a faceless reference in most drawing room conversations. A traffic constable, a ticket collector, a tax officer, a municipal staff and a local legislature are part of a middle class script on corruption in public life, which conveniently misses out on the disproportionate assets amassed by a neighbour or the nefarious deeds of a close relation. Why should we, let someone catch them first!

Notwithstanding the legacy of failed public institutions to root out corruption in this country, hope has been pinned yet again on another institution to catch them. The child within us is ecstatic with the promise of a new toy, a Lok Pal. Curiously, neither does one know how the toy may look like nor is there any clue on how it may work! Till the toy arrives, corruption around us flourishes with impunity.

Unbelievable though it may sound, a forest range officer minced no words recently to tell the wife of his senior colleague that `the shopping bags she was carrying were the outcome of her husband's illicit income'. Courageous and fearless, this young hero has evoked the `lok pal' in him to expose and isolate the enemy within. After all, public knows more than what a Lok Pal might know - yeh to public hai ye sab janti hai!

(the picture above is from a popular Bollywood film of the 70's Roti starring Rajesh Khanna (right) and Jeevan (left)

54. Anybody for the other cup!

2011-04-04T18:29:00.000-07:00

The frenzy will subside and so will the inflated nationalism! But the intrusive, invasive and insidious flogging of the star cricketers will continue relentless till money poured onto them sloshes out and spills over to the hoardings on the streets. Over weeks and months ahead, the star cricketers will return the favours to their innumerable fans by selling them anything from toothpaste to mobiles.

Such vulgar transformation of cricketing heroes doesn't off-put the fans, else how could it have grown and continue to expand in time. Between the spectators and the commentators, the game of cricket has been lost to the market. Unstoppable electronic media will continue to break more `broken stories', milking every conceivable sponsorship to lift its sagging `television rating points'.

Without doubt, the Cricket World Cup is the Cup that matters for a billion-plus even when their own `cup' of woes is brimming with growing unrest, unending scams and a listless leadership. On the eve of the final, Gautam Gambhir had remarked: `There will be frenzy but I hope that people do not lose perspective. Yes, it is the World Cup but then bigger issues in our country like population, crime and corruption have yet to be resolved'.

Much before the painted tricolor of token nationalism on human skins washes away, the challenge before the cricketing heroes is to capitalise on their new found status to strike fours and sixes on the compelling issues before the nation. Is anyone willing to take `guard'?

53. Pay them to stay home

2011-03-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

Brazen display of unaccounted wealth notwithstanding, the social sanction to getting-fatter-by-the-day Indian wedding has established moral decline of a recalcitrant society. Far from being questioned, the big fat weddings instead tweak middle-class aspirations to emulate it.

Unable to match the unenviable trend, many acquaintances with marriageable progeny have been shocked to learn that feeding each guest at the wedding could cost them upwards of Rs 2,000. Coupled with the often unreasonable price of the venue, thousand-odd guests can turn the one-night ceremony into a nightmare for the rest of the parents’ lives! As the couple exchange wedding vows on the auspicious day, traffic congestion triggered by additional number of cars hitting the road adds to the city woes. Adding insult to injury for the host, the expanded cuisine of predictable taste gets conveniently trashed at such weddings as well.

Can the growing carbon footprints of the big fat Indian wedding be checked? An ingenious solution is on offer! Let the marriage invitation remind the guests to celebrate the day with their respective families in the neighbourhood restaurant of their choice. To cover the dining expenses, the invitation will have a reasonable amount* tagged to it. Neither will food be wasted nor will guests tread extra miles. The decentralised carbon-friendly wedding will nevertheless get celebrated across the city at the same time as the bride and the groom solemnise their marriage in the company of their close families.

(*it could well be 5 times less than what one may pay for food for a family of 5 at the wedding)

52. Vice is virtuous!

2011-02-21T22:21:00.000-08:00

The institution of `vice chancellor' is one amongst multitudes of failed institutions in the public domain. Weakened on account of inept leadership, the office of vice chancellor in most universities has become a `big head' of opportunism, wickedness, corruption and politics! With a prefix `vice' attached to it, what better could have been expected? If nothing, it stands true to its prefix.

Appearing in English in the 13th century, `vice' is a habit considered immoral, depraved and/or degrading. Derived from the Latin word vitium, synonyms for vice include fault, sin, iniquity and infirmity. In more minor usage, vice can refer to a fault, a defect or merely a bad habit. No qualms therefore if the vice chancellors of the present genre fail to deliver. That is what they have been chosen for!

During a recent dinner hosted by the vice chancellor of a central university, guests were treated to cocktails by the generous host. Down to few pegs, the host wondered why one guest was without his share of a drink. `So, you don't have such vices,' quipped the vice chancellor. Much before the guest could react, the host went further, `no wonder, you are not a vice chancellor!'.

51. The other green house gas

2011-01-20T01:48:00.000-08:00

Does double-digit economic growth translate into multi-digit jobs? It doesn't seem so as there exists a glaring disconnect between higher growth and lower employment. No wonder, growth engine in India (as well as China) is puffing out more scams than jobs. Given the economic upheaval the world has been going through, losing a job is lot easier than gaining one.

Not for maid servants though! As there are often `two jobs' on offer before they lose `one', making a mockery of growth-employment disconnect. Instead, there is a demand-supply gulf which has been smartly exploited by these unassuming women. Rarely do maids get fired for being `absent', they are instead sweet-talked over mobile for timely appearance the following day. Maids force housewives to write a new chapter in behavioural science everyday.

The enigma of maid servants continues to remain convoluted. Neither do economic sanctions work on them nor can the affected employers get an easy `bail out'. Maids are like green house gases that can swing housewives mood either way - that is often worse than the cumulative impact of all the green house gases in the atmosphere.

50. Read what you don't hear

2011-01-05T01:18:00.000-08:00

Drawing new year resolutions out from the year full of loud scams and shamed silence has been challenging to both the intellect as well as the instinct. Intutively, however, a list of eleven resolutions emerge from the super-conscious state of the mind for the disturbed state of the country. Here's the list:

To enhance innocent forgetfulness, researchers will come up with a new drug `scam-o-cin'; To make `corruption' one of the fundamental rights, the constitution will be urgently amended; To develop next breed of `pimp journalists', suitable media courses will be designed; To expand network of elevated roads and express highways, pedestrian and cyclists will be made to pay road tax; To achieve instant name and fame, parents will introduce TRP rankings for their kids.

To wipe onion tears, cooking-without-onions will be subsidised by the government; To enhance the role of black economy, the currency notes will be coloured black; To compensate for forest destruction due to mining, all telecom towers will be painted green; To sustain stinted image of the judiciary, the blind goddess of justice will remain blindfolded; To add glamour quotient to everyday lives, bollywood stars will stoop down to cleaning cars and washing linens for a price; and To add insult to injury, micro-finance will be the next big killer across the countryside.

And to stay away from it, I will dig into the sands.

49. In the eyes of the beholder

2010-12-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

What is common between Sophia Loren, Cindy Crawford and Lakshmi Menon (right)? The dusky beauty has made us proud by joining her hollywood counterparts in stripping for the 2011 Piraelli calendar. Known more for its calendar (since 1964) than the tyres the company has been manufacturing (since 1872), Piraelli has engaged some of the finest glamour photographers for capturing `female body' as a work of art.

The bold and the beautiful have seemingly arrived. Down to her birthday suit for the calendar shoot, the dusky beauty poses a compelling question: isn't nudity a matter of perception? It indeed is! Else, another beauty caught recently without a panty would not have been `cool' about it. Being nude is more than without being with the piece of cloth over vital body parts! Innocent nudes like Lakshmi pose no threat, it's the fully draped individuals caught nude in the public that are a potential hazard!

Having exposed themselves to full glare in public, Raja, Raju, Kalmadi, Koda, Telgi, Ketan, Chavan, Natwar, Vir, Sukhram and Laalu make a strong case for an Indian edition of the celebrated calendar*. However, there is no need for the likes of Terry Richardson or Karl Lagerfeld to shoot these gentlemen with their pants down! Just their pictures on the calendar leaves will make the public see through them, naked to the last tissue.

(*the eleven gentlemen make a full calendar, however, the next edition will feature eleven ladies of the likes of Dutt and Yadav. )

48. No such thing as a free ride

2010-11-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

Memories of hitchhiking date back to the early 90’s, when making friends with strangers was an act of amusing experience. John Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath opens with a hitched ride and Aamir Khan gets thumbs down for attempting a hitch in Mahesh Bhatt’s Dil Hai Ki Manta Nahin: both reminders of a historical common practice worldwide.

Thumbing as a means of hitching a ride has been on the decline ever since, Automobile growth, economic upswing and safety concerns may have contributed to this decline. Who would risk hitching a free ride when mutual trust is such a scarce commodity?

Mutual trust is scarce because shared values are missing; shared values are missing because mutuality has disappeared; mutuality has disappeared because economic inequality has been enforced; and income inequality has been enforced because capitalist model of economic growth has been embraced.

When income differences are bigger, social distances are bigger. When social distances are bigger, exalted egos are bigger. As the notion of `no such thing as a free ride’ gains widespread credence, gestures like hitchhiking become `smaller' and begin to disappear unnoticed.

47. Etiquette. My foot!

2010-10-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

Tough to spell during the language class at school, etiquette remains tough to emulate in real life too. Sample it at a metro station or a passport office, long queue breaks down as soon as the doors get flung open. Stretch yourself a bit to see the commotion at the nearby grocery shop, at a parent-teacher meeting in a school or even on the road. Whatever be the location, to most Indians etiquette remains as French as its origin.

Whether it is insecurity of being left out or impatience for lagging behind, the notion of etiquette is consistently disparaged. Do Indians consider etiquette to be an unnecessary restriction of freedom of personal expression or do they consider it a philosophy to be espoused only by the children? Without fail, lessons in etiquette get forced down upon children by all parents while they themselves hold the right to vilify it.

If you thought the economic boom will turn things around then you may be grossly mistaken. Etiquette has indeed taken a serious beating on the growth curve: enforcing civic sense at public places has become even more daunting. Compare it with the extraordinary display of etiquette by 33 brave men who were trapped inside the mines in Chile for nearly three months recently. When the day of their evacuation came, each one volunteered to be the last to be pulled out.

If the unfortunate incident were to happen in India, a near stampede could not have been ruled out! Elsewhere in the developed world, good manners followed economic growth and not otherwise.

46. Reduced to a number

2010-10-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

One's birth is number and so is one's departure; innerwear has a number and so has outerwear; neither is a shoe without a number nor is a sandal; phone without number doesn't ring and neither does a mobile; success counts on number as failure rues lack of it; date is a number and so is a year.

For legendary Dev Anand age is just a number and for svelte Sobha De a senior citizen status a numerical call for celebration. But could there be life without numbers?

What if life gets a number - a twelve-digit Unique Identification Number (UID)* - aimed to promote inclusive growth by plugging leakages in public distribution of resources? None of what any number could be - rational or irrational, real or complex, surreal or hyperreal, and imaginary or perfect, UID is an attempt to digitise every citizen even if at the cost of an assault on personal freedom.

What if USA, UK, Australia, China and Germany have given up on such number for it being intrusive and bullying, ineffective and expensive? What if Hitler used an identity (yellow star) to exterminate jews? What if a numbered identity proves an assault on individual freedom in the world's largest democracy?

Dreadful history of `enforcing identity' is being made to repeat itself!

45. Picture perfect

2010-08-28T00:18:00.001-07:00

Not sure what the photographer is clicking and doubly unsure what the women (presumably) would finally do with the picture! Photographer Duane Michals has interesting take on such pictures. Saye he, `It takes no great powers or magic to reproduce somebody's face in a photograph. The magic lies in doing without'. Wow!

A picture, we are told, is worth thousand words. This one could be worth a million or even more....depends who is looking at it! Socio-psychologists argue that most things in life are moments of pleasure and a lifetime of embarrassment. For the photographer, this picture may be a moment of personal embarrassment but a lifetime of pleasure for everybody else. Isn't it?

Picture often offers an infinite variety of perception, interpretation and execution. Such images remains itched in one's mind for long, seeking diverse interpretations with changing times. But photographers could be a funny bunch of people, certain of their habits die hard or never die! While clicking picture of a dead person one such photographer had quipped: smile

44. Weapon of mass attraction

2010-08-25T01:59:00.000-07:00

What is common between George Bush, Wen Jiabao and Asif Zardari? It is universally known that each one has led his country's government - US, China and Pakistan respectively. Interestingly, the commonality between these global guys is shared by our local boys too - P Chidambaram, Omar Abdullah and Bhupinder Hooda? Yes, each of these high profile politicians have been at the receiving end of a piece of `seasoned leather'!

Latest to join the `great shoe league' is Bhupinder Singh Hooda, the Chief Minister of Haryana, who must have been thanking Shakti Singh for doing an incredible favour to him. Had Shakti not thrown shoe at him on Aug 19 at a public meeting, Hooda's popularity may have remained confined to the state only? Now, it has crossed borders and will remain in popular imagination (and the picture with the show) much after he ceases to be a political figure.

Throwing shoe at someone is considered an insult, and more recently `a weapon of mass attraction'. No wonder, in recent times it has emerged as a non-violent expression of frustration, that seeks public accountability in a democratic system. Much to the comfort of those who were aimed at, each of the shoe hurled thusfar has missed its target. Interestingly, shoe-hurling has remained a male bastion till now.

Should women like to give it a try, sandals would add colourful gender dimension to the art of shoe-hurling. Researchers argue that sandals offer better aerodynamics for the purpose than bulky shoes. Any takers!

(Reader Ritwick Dutta informs: Former judge of India's Supreme Court, Arijit Pasayat, who was responsible for granting approval to controversial bauxite plant of Vedanta in 2008, was at the receiving end of a sandal. The sandals hurled at the judge by women litigants did miss the target but `sandals' are known to make a distinction between a `judge' and a `politician'. Ha!)

43. Take it from a halwai

2010-08-14T06:45:00.001-07:00

Carrying a roll of colorful charts, a frail looking gentleman had walked uninvited to the workshop we were conducting for budding environment journalists. The charts had plans of an alternate future where everyone would live 30 feet above ground, perched atop buildings resting on mighty pillars.The land beneath will stay clear for urban agriculture and for myriad other human activities.

The sun would shine uninterrupted and the air will flow freely; neither will earthquakes shatter homes nor will floods play havoc with properties. Producing a series of charts, the gentleman had meticulously argued the virtues of an elevated living, That he was cause for flutter didn't bother him a bit! It was later learnt that the presenter, Nand Lal Gupta, was a halwai (one who makes sweets) by profession who owned Gokul Misthan in Arera Colony, Bhopal.

Gupta had made this proposition in mid-1990's, when the idea of elevated road was uncommon and metro rail on pillars wasn't part of popular imagination. That `life atop pillars' would be a reality could not have been imagined then! Now that urban expansion has altered the drainage pattern in most towns and cities (few millimetres of rain can submerge the entire city) the virtue of living 30 feet above ground doesn't seem utopian.

My only regret till date is that Gupta could have treated us with jalebi for our patient hearing to his futuristic proposal!

42. Lets watch the real game

2010-08-10T22:14:00.000-07:00

Hadn't heard of toilet paper worth 4,000 bucks a roll till the other day! I wonder if there could be a `bottom' as valuable, that would warrant the priciest butt-cleaning paper for its mopping? Kalmadi deserves accolades for taking the unchartered toilet route to convert `commonwealth' into `private wealth'. It has turned out to be the finest reality show in town, each episode turning out to be more intriguing. And, Kalmadi
isn't done yet!

If you are one of those who are cursing Kalmadi and his cronies in
drawing room conversations, then you are surely doing a great
disservice to mankind. Ours is a veggie country, heads don't roll here
only whistleblowers get eliminated (with impunity). It is a scam era,
stupid! Entertain yourself as Lalu's, Koda's and Kalmadi's hit the
headlines one day and slip out of our collective conscience the next
day.

Don't be surprised if Kalmadi gets 20 kicks on his butt after the culmination of the 19th edition of the Commonwealth Games - only to move up the political ladder! Didn't Peter say that in corrupt democracies the corrupt move up the ladder in accordance with their corruption quotient. Watch the real game as it unfolds in the days ahead!

41. Know it by any other name

2010-07-16T04:22:00.000-07:00

No sooner had I made my selection from a severely restricted veg menu, the waiter at the restaurant in Kensington, London surprised me by quizzing: `still' or `sparkle'? Back home, it now translates into `tap' or `bottled'. Unless one is in a glitzy hotel where a much expensive water menu is on offer, seeking customer's preference for water has become an accepted norm across all kinds of street restaurants and roadside dhabas. And, no one seems to be complaining!

Market economy that thrives on rapid turnover of product diversity have had its impact on consumers' choice for `water' too. Asking `drinking water' is passé, as branded variants of packaged water with varied degrees of quality assurance have filled supermarket shelves. From ordinary to premium and from aerated to flavoured, drinking water has built its own range of products wherein brand draws more value than its contents.

Like ambidextrous master archer Arjuna (pic), who was known by several names, water too has attained an equally evolving nomenclature viz., drinking water, bottled water, aerated water, river water, irrigation water, flood water, polluted water, grey water, brown water, green water, sea water, revenue water and transboundary water. Does each variant not create a distinct liquid relation based on its (water) fast-changing biological and physical attributes?

The elixir of life is facing a crises of `identity', though. Each new name only degenerates its cosmic existence, hinting at the severity of the impending crises.`Blue' has long ceased to be its true colour (though it survives on screensavers)! Instead, it picks on new attributes as it flows. The latest and perhaps the most disturbing name it has acquired in development parlance is sick water, pointing towards a dreadful future!

40. Gotta have it in you to kick the ball

2010-06-18T01:11:00.000-07:00

Would India have played the first post-war soccer world cup in 1950 had it been permitted to play barefoot will remain a historical conjecture? That it never matched the power and prowess of the south americans, europeans and east asian countries even when it had acquired resources to equip the players with sports wardrobe is no less enigmatic! Isn't our colonial past playing too heavily on our choice to pick cricket as our national game?

Interestingly, Mahatma Gandhi had chosen football over cricket. Unlike our present-day politicians, Gandhi promoted football clubs in Jo'berg and Pretoria and used the game to promote his political philosophy of non-violent resistance for social upliftment. Unlike cricket that promotes divisive agenda and lifts an elite class, Gandhi used football games as popular venues for political rallies to converse with players and fans.

As it reflects glib, glamour and glitter, cricket finds favour with politicians of all hues as it confirms to their ideological dubiousness. With little regard for the poor and every effort towards enhancing inequality, promoting poor man's game of football doesn't interest the politicians. Since it promotes collective action and brings the best out of people, politicians dread promoting the ball game. Someone had rightly commented `one needs to have balls to kick the ball'. Anybody listening!

39. The chuddy charm

2010-06-10T10:45:00.000-07:00

The colourful undergarment that took the Shri Ram Sena by surprise did a world of good for the chuddies though. Much before Pramod Muthalik, the controversial chief of the fundamentalist sena, brought the ubiquotous piece of clothing into national limelight, Prince Charles had toasted the entry of the word chuddies into the English lexicon during a public dinner at the Windsor Castle in 2007. There is an increase in the number of Hindi words that get into the lexicon whenever a new edition of an English dictionary is released.

You know about `jungle' and `verandah' for sure, and may have heard of `jai ho' getting into the dictionary too. Does it not speak volumes about the English language that accepts words from other languages and cultures with ease? The pace at which colloquial words are gaining acceptance may help sala, an abusive expression which also means brother-in-law, sneak into the dictionary. Given the fact that sala, wife's brother, is held in high esteem by none other than the sister's husband should be reason enough for it to gain an entry. And why not?

Are we not heading for the day when the English dictionary will get colonised by the Hindi words? If that were to happen, many distorted words should feature extensively in the lexicon too. Amongst them, riks should be worth the risk. And how about going to nukhlow and not Lucknow, the capital city of Uttar Pradesh.

Like many of you, I hope I'm not dreaming!

38. The controversial credentials

2010-06-05T02:10:00.000-07:00

For skeptical-optimist environmentalist like me, Jairam Ramesh has been a refreshing cup of green tea. Like the Tata Tea creative commercial Jaago Re (meaning wake up), each of the environment minister's unscripted outbursts and spontaneous decisions have been no less than a wake up call. Occupying incredible column inches in the newspapers and using precious airtime on television, Jairam's business-like exuberance has kept the growth-obsessed development nexus guessing.

Cut out for this indomitable task, Jairam seems a politician-in-a-hurry who is spinning green dreams without unduly worrying about their political fallout. Unilke the oily politico who gets rattled (see picture) by the youngman's calm query about his credentials in the commercial, Jairam doesn't seem to have any misgivings about his credentials though. His impeccable credential lie in him being overtly controversial.

At this time when all other ministeries are working at cross purpose with the environment ministry, Jairam's determination to remain controversial has helped him stand tall and deliver. As he prods his way through the muddled politics of our times, Jairam footmarks are sure to leave a legacy that will force future incumbents to carry the unique credential of being controversial to be considered for this position.

Without doubt it is clear that from now on anyone who isn't controversial will make himself look awkward as an environment minister. However, this may not apply to any other political position. Do I need to tell you why?

37. Curiosity killed the cat

2010-05-20T00:37:00.001-07:00

Curiously, no one knows what to do with the number 1411 that has been flashed all across. Presumably, it is about engaging the consuming class in protecting the big cat. Quite tough to imagine if the consuming class protects anything but it's `self-interest'! Isn't the National Tiger Conservation Authority, set up with much fanfare some years ago, supposed to do just that? One would think so but reports indicate otherwise! Ever since the authority came into being one of the tiger reserves in the country, Panna, has been emptied of the big cats.

The picture outside the tiger reserves can be even more daunting. Far from winning accolades, the man who had actually spotted the tiger for the first time in the forests of Goa was reprimanded for his persistance of having actually seen a `big cat'. Till the tiger was alive, the concerned forest department did everything possible to prove that that was not a tiger. But no sooner was it authoritatively confirmed that the dead remains of the poached animal were that of a tiger, all hell broke lose on our innocent campaigner who was declared a poacher instead. It was indeed a lifetime of an experience for `our hero' to escape from the clutches of the paper tigers.

But why would the forest officials not rejoice at sighting a tiger? Had it been officially accepted that that indeed was a tiger, the entire area would have come under a tiger reserve and the multi-million dollar mining industry in Goa would have come to a standstill. In one of his recent interviews, the Environment Minister Jairam Ramesh has said in no less terms that `links between forest department and mining lobbies cannot be denied'.

Now I know that `until the tiger has his own storyteller, the hunter will always have the best part of the story'.

36. The hands of god

2010-04-30T21:47:00.000-07:00

Did you notice that piao, the conspicuous little window along the street that used to fill your stretched palm with water, has slowly disappeared from our lives! One could rarely see the person behind the window but the proverbial hands of god would consistently pour the elixir of life. More often than not it would be a woman, silently upholding a rich tradition of serving water to the passers by. At other places, a piao would mean few clay pots filled with water lying under a shady tree alongwith a tumbler for self-service.

Not any more, as societal response to fulfilling individual human needs has few takers. As municipalities restrict the supply of `non-revenue water', a class of water that doesn't generate income, the piao cannot sustain its services. Ironically, such an essential service is clubbed under acts of pilferage - be it through theft or metering inaccuracies - that the municipalities are wanting to curb. No wonder, even community taps have been abandoned at several locations.

Isn't the state's failure to distribute water equitably been the cause for the so-called water thefts? Far from addressing the root cause, the move has been to convert all available resource into `revenue water'. Each drop will have to be paid for, the municipalities want to generate revenue from the estimated 40 per cent `lost' water. Many railway stations stop water supplies minutes before the crowded trains arrive!

Mark my words, the next war will be over restricted supply of `non-revenue water' - an unwritten human right. Amen!

35. Your sickness makes doctor healthy

2010-04-18T00:12:00.000-07:00

Did you hear what Dr P Venugopal, the illustrious heart surgeon, had to say about the business of `modern medicine'? Says he, `medical thrillers' wildest plots of ruthless profiteering are now common practice'. Shockingly, corporate hospitals do give doctors monthly targets for the number of stent procedures and scans. Such targets extend to other disciplines of medicine too, with the ever eager doctors ready to bring unsuspecting patients under scissor and scalpel.

Hasn't sickness become doctor's interest? The more people fall sick, the more the doctor/hospital stand to gain! Curiously, doctor's interest becomes not health but sickness. If everybody remains healthy, then the doctor will be the only one who will be sick. The mushrooming growth of private super-speciality hospitals is indeed a trap that the vulnerable fall into. One pays to remain sick!

A paradigm shift alone can keep the masses healthy. In China a revolutionary step was taken two thousand years ago. Under then new system the doctor had to be paid by the patient as long as the patient remained healthy. If the patient fell sick, then the doctor was not to be paid. Isn't it strange because we pay the doctor when we are sick. This is dangerous, because the system then makes the doctor dependent on our sickness.

And the difference lies in how `health' is perceived: in the West it is called `medicine', which relates to sickness whereas in the East the term is `ayurveda', which means `the science of life' - not of sickness.

34. A card to prosperity

2010-04-08T11:01:00.000-07:00

In recent times, hundreds of newly built toilets have been ripped apart by poor households in many parts of rural Madhya Pradesh. Eyewitness report that such incidents have been rampant across the countryside where these subsidised structures have sprung under the ambitious total sanitation campaign. But why would the poor engage in such destructive activity?

Posessing a toilet not only lifts them above the poverty line (as it adds up the requisite points to jump the line) but strips them of the attractive doles too. Who would not want to remain poor when hundred days of assured employment, cashless health care facility,subsidised ration and free education are on offer? The virtue of being `below poverty line' is without doubt compelling. A one-time toilet in contrast is a contraption, a poor substitute for lucrative monthly gains.

India is perhaps the only country in the world where poverty has a premium. BPL Card is like a privy purse, a contribution by the rich state to sustain its poor below an imaginary `line'. Each new move by the government, be it the rural employment guarantee scheme or the ambitious food security program, is designed to increase the number of poor. Poverty is a grand celebration for keeping the machinery called `government' well oiled. Smells fish!

The poor don't need fish but a helping hand to catch a fish!

33. Who is fooling whom?

2010-03-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

Gone are the days when preparations for April Fool's Day would be well orchestrated. From simple jokes to elaborate hoaxes, friends and relatives would remain on toes for being the intended beneficiaries! Whatever the prank, the trickster would usually end by yelling to his victim, `April Fool'. Saddam Hussein was at the receiving end of one such cruel joke, April Fool was the code name of the double agent who played a role in his downfall.

April Fool has remained in popular imagination ever since calendar was reformed in France in 1564. Those who stubbornly clung to the old calendar system and continued to celebrate the New Year during the week that fell between March 25th and April 1st had jokes played on them. Even films were themed on it: 1964 Saira Banu-Biswajeet starrer April Fool had a song to signify the day. But playing pranks on April Fools Day now seem passé.

Hasn't making fool become a national pass time instead? Government is fooling its citizens; ministers are fooling their portfolios; elected representatives are fooling the democracy; judges are fooling the law; teachers are fooling the books; market is fooling the consumers; actors are fooling the medium; and news is fooling its readers. Closer home, the vegetable vendor fools the housewife; the autorickshaw fools the passenger; the policeman fools the hawker; the employer fools the employee; and the doctor fools the patient. The list goes on...!

Once in a fool's paradise who bothers for April Fools Day!

32. Watch who is into the act!

2010-03-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

Did you notice that we have plenty of it and yet it keeps coming? Since our attitude towards it is more benign, the television and the internet keeps serving it endlessly. Ladies and gentlemen, it is called bullshit that the dictionary defines as non-sense or some foolish exaggerated talk. Play your memory back by couple of hours or if possible by a few days and you realise how much of it you have savoured recently.

From contested nominations to the upper house to acrimonious debates in the lower house, from dubious cine awards to outrageous political utterances, bullshit has been on offer all the way from Mumbai to Lucknow and beyond. The media-market nexus almost always chooses a glib ignoramus over an expert to further the concept of bullshit. No wonder, some newspapers and television channels could be respectfully re-named Bullshit Times and Bullshit TV in that order.

Be it the dubious case of glacier melting or exquisite piece of monetized garland, or be it the curious case of an artist's nationality or an idiot-box marriage of a politician's offspring, bullshitters are earning iconic status with their nonsensical persistence. The realms of advertising and of public relations, and that of politics, are replete with instances of bullshit as unmitigated that they can serve among the indisputable paradigms of our times.

The contemporary proliferation of bullshit may have deeper sources, which not only restrict any reliable access to an objective reality but do reject the possibility of knowing how things truly are. Though most people pretend confidence in their ability to recognize bullshit, they lack collective courage to unmask the bullshitters. Shockingly, neither has the subject been deliberated upon nor been put to sustained inquiry.

Aren't we becoming a bullshit nation?

(This write-up has been inspired by On Bullshit by Harry G. Frankfurt, Princeton University Press, Oxford, 63 pages, US$ 9.95)

31. A case for two prime ministers

2010-03-03T09:07:00.000-08:00

Unlike Gandhi and Nehru, the leaders of the present generation are rarely seen amongst the rural poor. And whenever they do, it is no less than a breaking news. The entire media, both print and electronic, goes esctatic on their unique feat. Hailed as a shrewd poliical move, it seems a rare favour returned to the poor by the powers-that-be.The trend has indeed caught on with political leaders of all hues, keeping (safe) distance from those who return them to power is more of a norm than exception. The apparent dichotomy of India vs Bharat is getting real.

The physics of distance is getting redefined. Neither kilometers nor hours, distance has become a measure of power. More the distance, higher the power. Once in power, the distance switch gets activated by default. It is a colonial legacy that has seemingly lived on, taking pride in representing the urban elite at the cost of ignoring the rural poor. Deficit democracy is clearly at work where the head of the government has little time to travel to the countryside to hear the pains and anguish of the rural poor. Did you notice that our current Prime Minister and his predecessor have hardly been to a village, as if the 60 per cent of the population doesn't exist?

Don't the rural poor deserve a second Prime Minister to represent their case? Ek se bhale do!

30. Oye Kanjar, Kanjar Oye!

2010-02-08T05:16:00.000-08:00

Every day past midnight, the police comes knocking at their door. Half asleep, each one from their dilapidated dwellings (see picture) is forced to crawl out for the mandatory headcount. For fear of retribution, no one dare remain absent without prior permission from the `protector of law' . It isn't a work of imagination but a narrative on the daily ordeal of over 600 families in a district of Rajasthan. These are Kanjar, members of a semi-nomadic tribe, who wonder what freedom is all about? They haven't slept well for several years now!

Household name across north India, Kanjar carries double-edged expression. While some mothers call their naughty children `oye, kanjara.', for many others it is an abusive expression. Derived from the Sanskrit kanana-chara, kanjar means wanderer in the jungle. Claimed to have originated in Rajasthan, they served as servants of the Rajputs & Jats before Moghul invaders forced them to flee to the jungles to avoid persecution. Since then they have been on the run, as hunter gatherers or petty criminals.

While the British had listed them under the Criminal Tribes Act, 1871, a tribe addicted to non-bailable offences, the denotification of law in 1952 placed Kanjar under the Habitual Offenders Act. Though most have left their past vocation, they still carry an absurd social stigma for which their children are often forced out of schools and their women remain vulnerable to exploitation. Bereft of any assets, Kanjar have been literally driven to the wall. No one offers them any respectable job either. Most survive under the shadow of perpetual fear, with less than Rs 1,500 a month to survive.

However, for police they remain a potential catch! Wonder, if the law enforcement agency were to look beyond and hound other potential offenders amongst bureaucrats and politicians?

29. P stands for creativity

2010-02-03T09:18:00.000-08:00

P is silent in psychology but not in the movie 3 idiots. Unlike in a swimming pool where its presence could only be speculated, pee provides the apparent flow to the story in 3 idiots.The very idea of innovation is pitched around this saline excretion, it being a good conductor of electricity. Pee is so creatively woven into the script that for once the Hindi-challenged Chatur Ramalingam's (see picture) struggle to find a place for mutra visarjan (urination) through the 180-minute entertainer doesn't seem stupid.

Can pee trigger creativity? Not only in reel life, pee has its creative dimension in real life too. Not long ago, I was witness to a bizarre incident when my midnight travel from railway station was punctuated at a traffic junction. A minor commotion ahead of my autorickshaw raised my curiosity and I soon learnt that branded liquor was being sold for a pittance. Wow! The driver however cautioned me to avoid getting trapped into that late-night sale gimmick. Why?

Because, it isn't country liquor but fresh pee in a new bottle, sold every day at that traffic junction! After an initial shock, I could only laugh my way home. It may sound unethical but does it not speak volumes about the survival strategy of those who are engaged in this innovative vocation? At least, our pee bottlers are not playing with the lives of their unsuspecting customers. Else, they could have filled the bottle with country liquor!

Is human pee not better than country liquor? Only Morarji bhai could answer that!

28. Jam today, jam tomorrow

2010-01-31T08:30:00.000-08:00

Sigmund Freud would have retracted his words had he been on Delhi roads, or for that matter on roads in Bogota, Bangkok, Mumbai or even Munich. Freud had said that `if you have been breastfed then you ought to be optimistic'. Breastfed most of us are but I suspect if we are optimistic about easing of traffic congestion on roads. Each widened road or elevated intersection causes further congestion, mocking at transport planners who made us think otherwise. Simply put, each improved road means an added incentive for more cars to flood the streets.

The elevated roads are far from being badly designed, as Delhi's Lt Governor has recently felt, instead they release supressed demand for cars. Delhites are indeed expressing their suppressed demand - by adding over 1,000 new personal vehicles on city’s overstretched roads each day; by switching from small to medium and from medium to big car in a reasonably short time; and by increasing the per capita number of cars. This is true for most cities in the world, I'm told. No surprise, therefore, it was jam yesterday, it is jam today and it will be jam tomorrow.

Well-known transport theorist Martin Mogridge reckoned that traffic speed could be doubled just by reducing space for cars. Howsoever logical, it is quite unlikely that if car manufacturers will ever reduce production and if people will ever stop buying cars. Not only is car a status symbol but it helps in monopolising city roads. Ironically, sustained congestion only pushes carbon-friendly cycles, rickshaws and hand-held carts out from roads without in anyway easing traffic snarl.

Did I hear people saying that the climate is changing?

27. Not far from being a suicide republic

2010-01-27T06:20:00.000-08:00

At 60, the republic has become a senior citizen, scapegoating public as necessary sacrifice in the name of progress and development. It has chartered a growth route on which neither poverty registers nor suicides matter. Our politicians and policies deserve praise for sustaining farmers' suicides, some 200,000 land tillers have been lost at the alter of development in past twelve years. For the agriculture minister, the pitch seems to be playing perfect. The uneven bounce may be fatal for farmers though, but not for the minister, bureaucrats and farm scientists.

With young students joining the league, the space and scope for suicide is getting expanded. A new script is being written where the word suicide cuts through all languages, no one need explain what it may mean. It has become a household term unlike in Ramesh Sippy's landmark film Sholay (1975) wherein a character was specially created to explain the term when an inebriated Dharmendra atop the village tank threatens suicide. `angrez log jab marte hain to ose suicide kehte hain' (when whiteman dies it is called suicide) was scripted by the writers to convey it's meaning to the masses. In less than two decades, suicide has become a household vocation for the masses.

If Salim-Javed were to do the Sholay script again they would be writing `desi aadmi jab marte hain to ose suicide kehte hain'.

26. Making sense of shame

2010-01-21T18:53:00.000-08:00

Unlike many of you, I'm getting convinced that we have run out of ideas to get everyone to shit inside a toilet. The sheer number of toilets required for the country to attain some level of decency would be close to 300 million, assuming that a family of five takes turn to use the same loo. The number will continue to grow rather endlessly - as population grows exponentially, as families break into smaller units and as households migrate in search of new opportunities. I suspect if a Toilet Ministry, working 24x7, can achieve such rolling targets!

But why are we stuck to toilet as the only option, the absence of which favours the foreign tourists with some stinking photo opportunity? Unlike the west, toilets for a vast majority that survives on less than $2 a day may not be a good idea. For them, easing in public seems a democratic decree. It has worked thus far and mark my words, it will sustain during our lifetime for sure. Because public empathy towards squatting has remained secular, never did it trigger any class or caste strife in matter of appropriating public space for conducting private action.

Shit in itself may not be a problem. Left on its own, it engages millions of microbes in enriching the soil with organic carbon. The moment it comes in contact with water, something that a toilet facilitates, the trouble starts. Each water body, be it a pond or a river, gets an undesired share of floating excreta at various stages of decomposition which proves fatal to some half a million children below the age of five on account of water-borne diseases. And nowhere does this piece of statistics suggest that all these deaths are caused due to the scourage of open defecation!

With its extensive paraphernalia the toilet makes unreasonable demand on increasingly scarce public resource - water, which not only limits its spread but amplifies the sanitation crises too. The solution to India's sanitation enigma rests in recognising 'informal squatter islands' as permanent municipal spaces where individual waste will get managed in a way that produces subjectivity than shame. The state's role will then be limited to aesthetically managing such islands, upturning the soil periodically and getting it ready for next volume of bowel discharge before it is sold at a premium to the real estate builders.

Like `nude beaches' elsewhere in the west, we can call such islands `butt parks'

25. The postman always rings twice..

2010-01-15T23:20:00.000-08:00

So they say, but my postman didn't ring even once this new year. Let it be clear, mine is a concern and not a complaint. At least twice each year, the postman did more than just deliver letters. On deepawali and on new year eve, it has been an accepted norm to exchange his greetings with a token monetary appreciation - for his tireless daily routine on an ageing carbon-friendly bicycle. Not too far ago, delivery of letters containing a passport, a telephone or cooking gas connection elicited additional appreciation. The postman had become part of an extended family, delivering ecstasy and agony with a touch of sensitivity.

Lyricist Gulzar had captured many facets of a postman in his melodious number dakia dak laya, khushi ka sandesa kahin, kahin dardnaak laya. It was the sheer brilliance of legendary singer Kishore Kumar who could lace the racy number with desired emotions, lending depth, dimension and meaning to each word. For once, the social status of postman was lifted to dizzy heights. Not without reason because the postman often went beyond his brief. Not only would he read out the contents of the letter but would lend his writing skills to others as well. This and much more, the postman had carved out an exclusive niche in the social fabric.

One would doubt if the courier boy is a suitable replacement for a postman. Not only do they keep changing, courier boys lack emotive connectivity too. Though efficient, there is something mechanical to the way they go about their job. While I await my door bell to ring twice, I'm reminded of a touching incident a colleague of mine had narrated many seasons ago. Being son of a postman, he said, deepawali and new year were special occassions for him and his siblings - eachone would get a new dress and new toys.

I wonder if we haven't bargained the finest public servant for speed and efficiency!

24. Every dog has its day

2010-01-05T05:53:00.000-08:00

What has the dog been speaking into the phonograph cylinder? One could not be sure, but author Mabel Louise Robinson wondered if it didn't echo the dog's point of view - that his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog! Cunning because the dog is often named after the one his master loves to hate. Frances, Peter, John, Baker and Abbot are no coincidences, each name for the dog has been aimed at denigrating the colonial master - the Gora Saheb. Carryig an abusive expression, kutte has been conveniently adopted by Bollywood movies. No one could tell the villain, "Kutte, Main Tera Khoon Pee Jaoonga!" (Dog, I will drink your blood) more convincingly than actor Dharmendra.

The border conflicts of the 60's and 70's saw many a canine caught in the crossfire. Several were then called Bhutto. Wonder, what political honours were bestowed upon tail-wagging counterparts on this side of the fence? But why has the beloved dog been the only carrier of hate? Why not cat? Is it because we haven't got the guts to bite people ourselves or because the canine has given us its absolute all? Socio-psychologists would need to unveil the lingering enigma of our times. For Winston Churchil, the answer lay in the eyes of the pet. Dogs look upto you whereas cats look down upon you, could be one reason. Try a pig - it looks into your eyes and treats you at par.

Times have changed and so has our hate quotient. With pet nomenclature having gone through dramatic transformation, expression of hate has lost its canine cushion as well. Chunmun, Freddie, Saloni are some of the new names for dogs - rhyming with packaged products - that do not provide the passive route for expressing hate or anger. The net result is active expression, growing violence being the manifestation of intolerance. The therapeutic value of dog is surely being missed. The dog may be the carrier of hate but continues to remain a symbol of what love has on offer - selfless devotion. Though paradoxical, dogs helps humans strike a delicate balance between love and hate.

No wonder, to err is human and to forgive canine.

23. Skepticism will rise even if temperature doesn't

2010-01-01T00:36:00.000-08:00

It doesn’t matter if one is a skeptic or an alarmist or none, the veritable charge sheet published by Christopher Booker and Richard North in The Daily Telegraph should be a matter of concern for everybody with a slightest degree of concern for `climate change’. The authors have accused IPCC Chairperson Dr R K Pachauri of making fortune from his links with carbon trading companies. I neither represent Exxon nor Greenpeace but am clear that the climate science is in a deep crisis of professional credibility due to this expose.

I agree with Dr Roger Pielke Jr, professor of environmental studies at the Center for Science and Technology Policy Research at the University of Colorado at Boulder, who wonders if the rebuttal issued by Dr Pachauri’s institute clears up the issue. The TERI rejoinder provides details of $ 250,000 in payments received over the past three years only. But what about the gains that might have accrued directly/indirectly to the organizations that he advised/served? Evidently, it is an issue of `conflict of interest’ that ought to be investigated.

Incidentally, anyone who points fingers at any of climate change proponents is considered an `idiot’. I’d be happy if I’m called so, `idiots’ have earned respect following the phenomenal success of `3 idiots'. The irony is that climate scientists are clearly accustomed to deference. Theirs is a community coddled by global elites, extensively funded by governments, celebrated by bollywood and honored with international prizes.

In his op-ed column in Washington Post, Michael Gerson aptly summed up the issue: `some of these (so-called) scientists are merely activists, deeply invested in a predetermined outcome. They assume that political change is the goal; the scientific enterprise is the means -- like a political ad or a campaign speech’. Since the experts have become advocates, it is time we stop believing the experts and avoid listening to such advocates.

Hasn't climate change strongest proponent Al Gore gone into the hiding already?

22. Not let down by age

2009-12-27T00:23:00.000-08:00

Octagenarian politician N D Tiwari, who was caught in a compromising position with three women in the prestigious Raj Bhawan in Hyderabad as alleged by the `sex tape' aired on televsion chanels since Dec 24, 2009, has proved the common adage - that Indians have more(sex)in the brain than in the groins. Though the old man flocked with women in bed, his resignation from the coveted post of Governor was on `health grounds'. Amusing!

Without doubt, such acts cannot be a one-off episode. These have a history! No wonder, in a musical evening in Dehradun on Dec 26 wherein well-known gharwali singer Narendra Singh Negi sang his smash-hit Nauchami Narayan, a cult song that derides the former chief minister for his alleged romantic escapades, a voice from the crowd hollered `he has been caught this time.'

Tiwari's lifestyle has been a common public knowledge. Any number of people that this blogger could talk to confirmed of having known about it. Consequently, not many were surprised by what they saw. Amazingly, why is it that what is in common knowledge doesn't get acknowledged by the powers-that-be? Seems no one has the courage to tell the emperor what he's wearing.....or not wearing.

21. Belch out the Devil

2009-03-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

Till the other day, there was a definite charm about him. Following his rejection to the coveted position at the united nations, he overexposed himself by writing on anything and everything. Any intention of reading him is gone (nor that I had any) following his close allegiance to the one and only Coca-Cola. That he's contesting from Thiruvananthapuram and yet defending his love for it (Coke) is a paradox that only the literate electorates of the constituency will take a call on. Let good sense prevail (amid the electorates) as I wish conditional luck to Shashi Tharoor. I suspect if this posting will reach him but if Max Martin's report in Mail Today (March 22, 2009) is any indication, half of any election is won or lost in the cyber space (in Kerala).

Following my article on Coke's dubious claims on groundwater recharging aimed at diverting attention from its water-guzzling business in the Economic Times in May 2008, an email was received from one of those who was apparently engaged (`employed' is more appropriate expression) in a groundwater recharging project of the Coca Cola Foundation rubbishing my position. The respondant felt the foundation was doing excellent work and that any fears regarding `milking the aquifers dry' were unfounded. Tharoor is behaving in much the similar way, taking Coke's deft public relations (Coke's global publicity budget is a little over US$ 2 billion) as `news' and forcing many uninitiated minds to believe him.

I'm afraid Shashi Tharoor has got his facts wrong, I repeat `absolutely wrong'. My own information on the subject has been padded by authoritative writing by Mark Thomas. For those who may not be familiar with Thomas, he's an ace television comedian (Channel 4 in UK) and journalist who has travelled across the world to document Coke's dubious (criminal) escapades in his book `Belching out the Devil' (Beacon Press, 2007). Mark's stunning revelations on Coke's child rights abuse in El Salvador, labour intimidation in Colombia, monopolistic trade practices in Mexico and robbery of groundwater in India will prompt every sane mind to proclaim: belch out the devil.

Placchimada and Kaladera were part of Thomas' travel itinerary, wherein he verified `facts' to the last digit. The groundwater recharging systems were definitely in place and these do have the `potential' to recharge as much groundwater as the company extracts. Shashi Tharoor is likely to jump at this, asking: so where is the problem? The problem is that it doesn't rain as much in the region to help the rainwater harvesting systems realise its `potential' of recharging at a pace with which water is being pumped out on a daily basis. No wonder, farmers in and around Kaladera (near Jaipur) complain loss of agriculture due to drying up of village wells. And, the fact is that the company has been using 3.8 litres of freshwater to generate a litre of carbonated drink.

Pardon me for my political naivety but I had a notion that voting for an educated-affluent could be the finest exercise of one's franchise, believing that such an elected representative will not only take `wisest' decisions but would be less `corrupt'. But I think in political matters it's erroneus to count on `individual honesty'. To quote Swaminathan Aiyar: `Critics have accused Abraham Lincoln and Manmohan Singh of being hypocrites who advertised their personal honesty but agreed to dirty deals to promote their political aims. Singh not only formed a council of ministers that included seven politicians facing criminal charges but won vote of confidence with the help of currency notes being waved (first time ever) on the floor of the house'. The message: don't get charmed by `integrity' and `honesty'!

With millions of young electorates to exercise their constitutional rights for the first time during upcoming parliamentary elections, it is the test of their ability to `pick' the best. I hope the above narrative helps them in `belching out the devil' - in Thiruvananthapuram and the rest of the country.

20. Ganga: Purity and Pollution flow together

2009-03-10T00:39:00.000-07:00

(It is indeed a welcome step that the Ministry of Environment & Forests (MoEF) notifcation of Feb 20, 2009 has alleviated the Ganga to the status of a National River, echoeing the sentiments expressed by the PM in the recent past. The notification stresses the need for effective abatement of pollution by adapting a river basin approach alongside maintaining a minimal flow. A National Ganga River Basin Authority has been set-up with the PM on the Chair. A similar enthusiasm was seen when Ganga Action Plan was launched in 1984. An article published in March 1985 issue of Manthan, a quarterly published by the Deendayal Shodh Sansthan, had raised questions on the then Plan. The stand taken in the article (see the text below) stands vindicated as the Public Accounts Committee (PAC) of the Parliament found in 2004 that Rs 960 crore spent on the project only ended-up increasing the level of pollution in the river. Many of the questions raised in this write-up are still as relevant).

The formal announcement of the setting-up of a Central Ganga Authority by the Central Government represents the commitment of the government towards purity of the primary river as well as its commitment towards cleaner environment. While this step has brought appreciation from many quarters, there are several aspects that need to be looked into. Many questions have been raised which need to be discussed:

1. Can Rs 250 crore project cleanse the Ganga, when the State Pollution Control Boards and the Central Board for Pollution Control could not do so with the help of a legal weapon called the Water Pollution Control Act, 1974?

2. If the existence of Pollution Boards and the Act during the past decade is a testimony to an increase in the levels of pollution, isn't there something wrong with the functioning of the Boards and the implementation of the Act?

3. While providing sewerage treatment facilities to 29 Class 1 cities along the Ganga may not reduce pollution to even 50 per cent, how is the complete check on waste disposal to be achieved?

4. It is believed that 25 per cent of the pollution in the Ganga is caused by 132 major industries along it 2,000 km route from Haridwar to Howrah. Out of these units, 66 are on the banks of the river at Kanpur alone. Whereas providing sewerage and sewage treatment facilities is a government responsibility, industrial units are supposed to have their own treatment facilities for the wastes they generate. But none of the industries have a fool-prrof waste treatment facility, though under Sections 25, 26 of the Water Pollution Control Act, the industries cannot dispose their untreated effluents into the natural water courses.

5. On the other hand, Section 33 of the Act has provided the Boards with legal powers of punishment and imprisonment to erring authorities. Also, under certain conditions the Boards can purify the effluents for the industry and recover the expenditure incurred. What then prevented these Boards from implementing the provision?

6. Political interference, business lobbies and lack of technical manpower curtailed the functioning of most of the State Pollution Boards, but it has not indicated any measures to strengthen their functioning. If, alongwith these Boards and the Act, a separate Ganga Authority is required to clean the river, then what will be the future role and status of these Boards?

7. The project on paper seems alright and thereis every possibility of treating sewage and sullage, provided funds are available. Can all the population (informal settlements) living along the Ganga be covered under the sewerage schemes of municipalities?

8. The Ganga plan indicates a net profit of Rs 14 per person by way of gas/manure on an investment of Rs 23 per capita per year towards expenditure on pumping and treatment of waste. Had this idea been sold to the State Pollution Boards, they would have earned a significant profit to the States?

9. It is rightly said, `The poor simply defecate into the river, the rich dispose their wastes and religious throw their dead into it.' Sewage is the major culprit, for which a massive awareness drive needs to be launched and, shockingly, this doesn't form part of the Ganga Plan. Why?

10. When Ganga is mother to millions of Indians, let this Ganga Plan be a peoples' plan. Let's inculcate into millions of Indians the spirit of saving the mother, by awareness and education. Why Not?

*This article titled `But can the Ganga be purified? Ten pertinent questions to the Government of India' was written by Sudhirendar Sharma.

19. Celebrate Corruption

2009-02-16T09:45:00.000-08:00

Gandhigiri hasn't lasted long to expose corruption; sting journalism hasn't gone beyond sensationalising social degeneration; and the Tehelka expose has been relegated to history books as a milstone in exposing corruption in high places. While Rs zero note (see picture) to fight corruption has been launched in some districts of Tamilnadu, corruption as a topic in school education has been positioned as a fresh move to prepare young minds against corruption. This and much more as India slips to 85 position in Transparency International Global Hunger Index, well behind China (72) and Thailand (80), as currency gets flung on the Parliament floor and cash appears on a Judge's door without any eyebrows being raised.

So deep rooted it is that it's often tough to figure out its origin. It manifests in all walks of life, be it public or private. A study had indicated sometime ago that an estimated Rs 22,000 crore per year was paid in `small' corruption. The actual figure may be several times higher. Need it be said that corruption is more of a norm than exception. No wonder, therefore, many corrupt transactions have been rephrased as `convenience tax'. The distinction between `honest' and `dishonest' has seemingly been blurred, honest being one who takes money and delivers and dishonest who takes money but doesn't deliver. Truely, ours is a democratically corrupt country across caste, class, gender, religion, discipline and so on.

Lamenting corruption may seem futile. celebrating corruption should be a sensible choice. Simply put, it is creative vocation that manifests itself in all religions. It is not only creative but contagious too. No one could have imagined the Members of Parliament taking bribe for asking questions in the floor of the house? Corruption is an evolving discipline, each revelation leads to new generation of creative ideas. Such is its depth, dimension and magnitude that one can never get to the depth of it. Should then the idea of corruption be deplored when we haven't yet fathomed its creative power of unleashing new ideas of making money every moment?

Sample this! A chief engineer in one of the northern states was considered honest by his peers. Unlike members of his fraternity, his track record has been seemingly clean. There were neither any allegation nor charges against him. He led by example till the day his unique modus operandi became public. For covering the cost of a maid servant in his house, he had sought cash contribution from one of the engineering divisions. Shelling out Rs. 2,000 in cash each month wasn't a big deal for the division. Interestingly, this message was conveyed privately to each of the 80-plus divisions and sub-divisions in the state. Over Rs 150,000 used to be delivered at his home every month.

Had it not been for the chance encounter of two delivery persons representing separate divisions no one would have ever known it? While one was returning after delivering the envelope containing the money, the other was entering the house to deliver his division's share. It then became clear that a carefully crafted design was at work to siphon public money. Calling the chief engineer corrupt may amount to demeaning his creative talent. Without doubt, there are any number of such creative ventures underway at any point in time without anyone getting a wind of them. Only national and state-level awards to honour corruption can bring such creativity to light, a wild goose chase against corruption will remain cosmetic.

Conversely, announcing awards will encourage creativity and competition - bringing transparency in the system. For sure, television channels will announce talent hunts - scouting Indian Idols for most corrupt ideas. Corruption Training Institute will penetrate cities, small towns and villages. RTI will become redundant, replaced by RTC - Right to Corruption. There will be no scams, no enquiry commissions and courts will have time to spare. No extra efforts will be required to do so - the obvious talent of the people will be given recognition.

18. Small Car, Big Scam

2008-10-06T06:10:00.000-07:00

No sooner had the containers started moving machinery out from troubled Singur, many a skeletons from the Nano's cupboard had started falling. Shocking as these are, some could have easily put the legendary JRD to shame. That business is without the virtues of ethics and morality needs no more `evidence', Tata's Nano has amply demonstrated. Else, the company would not have filed a petition in the Calcutta High Court requesting for a restriant on the State Information Commission from releasing details about the controversial car project. Read on:

1. The company that could buy the British Corus for a whopping Rs 35,000 crore sought a loan of Rs 200 crore from the West Bengal Government - at an unbelievable 1 per cent interest - the first instalment will be due after 20th year. Do you smell `fish'? What does the State stand to gain from such gesture?

2. The fertile land did not become the core issue without reason. Hard to believe that 647 odd acres were leased out at Rs 1 crore for the first 30 years, over a 90 year old lease. At Rs 1,300 per acre it is quite a bargain, any local businessman would have paid more for such a lucrative offer. Without doubt, the beneficiaries list of such a deal could be long?

3. For producing the so-called cheapest car (after so much of cross subsidisation) the West Bengal Government had planned to provide power at Rs 3 per kilowatt hour (as against the prevailing rate of Rs 4.15). Should the rates go up over the next 5 years, the company would be refunded by the state. Why is the state government so liberal with Nano at the cost of its people?

All this will soon be `past', relegated to the history books. It may get referred to as a failed `development' mission by the well-meaning state. It may well also be remembered as a colossal public loss at the hands of `development extremists'. This and much more! If you are one whose chest got filled with nationalistic pride the moment you saw a Tata product across the national boundaries, think about the `public money' and `public pain' that would have contributed to it.

These facts are indeed important now that the project is moving to a new location. What fresh deals get drawn to keep the Nano as cheap, at the cost of exchequer's money need to be carefully monitored. As the country is taken on a ride on the cheapest car, the Small Nano could be the Biggest Scam of the present century!

17. ANALYSIS: Climate Change Mission Lacks Vision

2008-07-28T06:50:00.000-07:00

The political controversy may have subdued its release but not its contemporary relevance! It is however another matter that the much awaited National Action Plan on Climate Change (NAPCC), released in June 2008, has turned out to be a listless compilation of predictable ideas that lack depth, vision as well as urgency. Making a case for the right of emerging economies to development for alleviating poverty, the action plan places economic development ahead of emission reduction targets.

It might disappoint those who believe in scary picture of climate change and consider emission reduction to be the panacea for reducing the impact of global warming. The Prime Minister’s Council on Climate Change, under whose aegis the action plan has been drafted, is firm that the country would not cross the per capita emission levels of the industrialized west any time sooner. Consequently, the report makes no commitment to cut country’s carbon emission at the cost of its projected development.

In doing so, the action plan gives a spin in favour of the rights of the poor to emission equity and climate justice. Why should an average US citizen spew 20 tons of carbon dioxide annually into the atmosphere when his counterpart in India averages only 1.2 tons? In the absence of a firm link between global warming and anthropogenic emissions, the action plan reaffirms individual’s right to emit carbon dioxide (through enhanced energy consumption) for attaining a reasonable standard of living.

But there is more to climate change than per capita emission only! India’s cumulative carbon dioxide emission at a whopping 1.5 billion tons, which is a quarter of the US’s current emissions, can tip the climate balance against the poor. Whatever be the source of emissions, the glacial melting in the Himalayas is threatening to impact food and livelihoods security of over 1.4 billion people across the sub-continent. Projected sea-level rise, flash floods and unexpected droughts will only add to the woes of the poor....more

16. REFLECTION. The real winner?

2008-06-16T05:14:00.000-07:00

Barack Obama’s candid acceptance that the flights of jobs to Bangalore cannot be reversed may have pumped up nationalistic pride on this side of the Atlantic but hidden beneath are the manifestations of economic change that may bounce back once the growth engine has its full run. The skinny hands that held the begging bowl in the past may have started moving fingers across keyboards of world-class technology, but the economic growth hasn’t been able to pull the country out of its dismal status on the UN Human Development Index, still languishing at 128 out of 177 countries.

Obama acknowledges India’s arrival on the world stage with a stern message that the once poverty-stricken and colonized India `does not owe a living to the developed world’. However, the unleashing of the power of internet connection may have made the elite in Boston compete with the poor in Banda but the balance of power has not tilted as many may have started believing. Self-disciplining of the workforce is in the offing across the US, much will depend how indeed Obama’s proposed $50 billion stimulus package is used to cushion the present decline?

Further scrutiny reveals that though India may be walking tall amidst the comity of nations, its much-hyped economic growth is still not at par with the west. No wonder, a small but significant surge in petroleum prices triggers shock waves across the stock market and a weakening rupee sends alarm bells ringing at the IT hubs in Bangalore and Gurgaon. Statistics reveal that the economy of India doesn’t compare any bit with that of the US, Britain and Germany. Consequently, what gets admired and applauded is the shining fraction of the illusive jewel (the real Kohinoor is still in Britain)!

Buoyed by the liberal show of praise by the western observers, the rulers and planners have swept any cynicism of projected growth under the carpet. Finance Minister P Chidambaram lashes out at those who oppose his model of liberal growth: `people are being deceived to believe that the existing state of life is an ideal state of life and that development will make it worse. This could be categorized as a conspiracy of the socially-driven class to keep people poor.' Barrack Obama’s acceptance of India’s incredible growth and Gordon Brown’s praise that `the East is rising’ only helps the stubborn politicians miss the other side of the growth coin.

That the projected two-digit growth will be at the cost of the country’s finite resources and teeming millions gets under shadow! When asked if India, once independent, would ape the British model of development, Gandhi had responded: `if a small country like Britain had to colonise the world for meeting its basic needs, given our size we will need to colonise other planets.' There is no denying the fact that the right to growth and attainment of basic living standards ought to be equal but the question is whether or not India will be able to withstand the growth of unlimited appetites of its billion plus?

Bush may have erroneously hinted at the impact of such growing appetites but Obama has instead been cautious in accepting the inevitable. Paradoxically, while both acknowledge the value of a growing market for the products they make; their people rue the emergence of a new global economic order that has forced the relocation of new jobs outside their territorial jurisdiction. But as growth acceleration widens inequality within our society, unchecked industrialization and unbound consumption promises to amplify social strife as security nets against misery and want begin to evaporate.

It is intriguing that while the industrialized west seems content with our growing consumerism, it rues bearing the cost of `become like us’ through increased carbon emissions. Undoubtedly contradictory, there doesn’t seem to be any going back from the pattern of development though. That `development’ one day will threaten its proponents could not have been foreseen by then US President Truman who had positioned post-World War America to extend its technological prowess to the developing world as a euphemism for expanding the era of American hegemony!

The trouble with beating the west in their own game is that it will be at the cost of rich traditions and cultures of a great civilisation. Can an ancient civilisation be compromised at the altar of modern economic growth? At this time, no one seems to be reading the writing on the wall. On the contrary, infinite appetites are allowed to express themselves against the finite resources on offer – creating a process of self-annihilation through irreversible ecological degradation. This unprecedented historical experiment of pitching unrestricted demand against shrinking supply will consume the resource poor of the developing world, as there will be no colonial hinterland to relocate them. However, the technological prowess may help the west create an escape route for itself while the developing world would be left to fend for itself.

Wonder, who will be the winner?

(This blog has been published in Deccan Herald, the Bangalore-based newspaper. Click http://www.deccanherald.com/Content/Jun192008/editpage2008061874193.asp )

15. ENVIRONMENT. A Waterfall Refusing To Die!

2008-05-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

A peaceful protest has been underway since Feb 25, 2008 at Athirappilly (Kerala, India) demanding the scraping of the proposed 163 MW Athirappilly hydroelectric power project. Over 70 different social, political, environmental, and youth organisations from across Kerala have continuedto support the protest. Despite the Government underplaying the significance of the protest, the picturesque waterfall is refusing to die. Two Public Interest Litigations have been under hearing with High Court of Kerala

As the peaceful protest at the proposed site for the controversial hydroelectric project at Athirappilly clocks hundredth day, the stand off between people and powers-that-be underscores the fact that growth engine remains unilaterally focused to undermine human rights and ecological costs. But is it the first time that an economically unviable and ecological destructive project has got the undesired push at the corridors of power?

Do the doubtful gains of the project measure up to the irreversible losses it will inflict on the environment and the tribal population? That it is hornbill habitat with home to four distinct species; that it has rich fish diversity with 104 different species; and that it is most frequented elephant corridor with a high density of 2.1 elephants per sq km seem at best relevant for the environmental discourses to follow!

Does it matter that the proposed 163-MW dam will displace 78 families of the Kadar tribe, the primitive hunter gatherers endemic to the river valley? Haven't displacement and rehabilitation been the persistent cry across river valley projects across the country? So, isn't the issue of rehabilitation of 1500 members of the primitive tribe on familiar grounds? All this to usher in the rare distinction on the 144-km long Chalakudy river, to be the most dammed river in the country....more

14. REFLECTION. Reinvent employment guarantee!

2008-05-19T09:21:00.000-07:00

Should employment guarantee mean minion labour for the poor? Could there not be other ways in which the state can compensate its poor?

Suspecting me to be a government official, the tribal in village Gunnar in Koraput district of Orissa rushed forward with their job cards. Not having seen a magic job card that ensures 100 days of guaranteed employment under the National Rural Employment Guarantee Act (NREGA), I was curious to have a careful look at it. To my surprise, all the 42 cards in a 45-household village were blank. Not a single day worth of job was ushered to any of the poor tribals during the past two years. Second year of the UPA government's flagship scheme had come to a close, signalling that almost a million from the country's taxpayers money have been siphoned off from just one village.

With the scheme been extended to the entire country, previously restricted to 330 districts, securing employment rights of such hapless villagers has only become more compelling. While there have been success stories in NREGA files, exceptions fail to correct the abysmal failure of the scheme that could generate only 18 days of average employment across the country during the first two years. In the process, Rs 12,000 crore of taxpayers' money was devoured last year. Incompetent state machinery, riddled with corruption, will only better its previous year's achievement!

All said, the proponents of the scheme argue that there is nothing wrong per se in the idea of assured employment to the rural poor. That all governmental schemes of this magnitude invariably fall short of its targets must therefore be accepted as given. That a large fraction of the money ending up in the pockets of various intermediaries at the cost of the poor must not be frowned upon. An editorial in one of the business magazines has estimated that, in 596 districts where the scheme is being implemented, some 4,000 new millionaries will be created if the money siphoning process is not reversed.

Can the NREGA be made to deliver any better? Spending huge amount of manpower to create non-tangible assets such as kuccha roads, which will be washed away during the rains, could ensure employment but cannot create durable assets. Cleaning of village ponds and creation of water bodies may seem tangible but there is a limit to which these could be done, year after year. No wonder, some economists have even suggested enacting a law to help the government make a minimum monetary transfer to poor households every year. It is argued that if digging the earth is an excuse to distribute money, direct disbursements are sure to work better!

As the employment guarantee scheme transits into new areas, more questions related to defining `wage work' have started to surface. Farmers in drought-ravaged Bundelkhand region of Uttar Pradesh wonder if tilling one's own land could be considered worthy of wage compensation. Why dig a pit in no-man's land when similar effort can help prepare a piece of farm for cultivation instead? Villagers in Sangrur district of Punjab desire that the workforce they hire from other states should be covered under the employment guarantee scheme, even if it amounts to direct subsidy.

The crucial question, however, is whether the state finds comfort in converting its massive rural communities into minion labour. Further, creating dependent millions may become a huge financial liability too. Can the poor farmers not barter their knowledge instead? Should the tribal not be compensated for preserving country's natural assets? There are several ways in which the productive potential of the economically poor could be assessed, measured and compensated. The poor harbour in them the living culture of survival techniques, of livelihoods ecology, of exquisite handmade objects, and of passionate folk songs.

The tribal households in Gunnar could do without wage labour provided the state can compensate them for their low-carbon lifestyle, evolved after centuries of living in harmony with nature. Converting such vibrant cultures to menial labour is also a crime, when the opportunity cost of such transformation is considered. There has been talk of initiatives to make communities stakeholders in conservation. These financial incentives should not be seen as subsidies, but necessary policy interventions to protect the environment and create wealth via the carbon trade route.

The employment guarantee scheme offers an opportunity for its innovative application across diverse situations, provided flexibility in its implementation is permitted. Since such populist measures find political support of all hues, the challenge will be to convert a resource-guzzling scheme into one that generates wealth and self-respect for the economically weaker sections of the society. A bad script that the NREGA is at present can indeed to turned into a good story!

13. ANALYSIS. Getting a sense of Coca-Cola's philanthropic ideas!

2008-05-11T02:36:00.000-07:00

In a country where 70% of irrigation water and 80% of its domestic water supplies come from its rapidly depleting groundwater reserves, groundwater recharge is bound to get unstilted support. What if the recharge is funded by Coca-Cola from out of the profit it nets by extracting groundwater in the first place! That the company's expanding business eyes country's groundwater reserves is pushed aside. Not without reason as everybody is brainwashed by the corporate PR that passes for news these days, which makes everyone think that the Coca-Cola groundwater recharge model is the greatest invention to come down the pike since the wheel was invented.

It needs multiple voices and committed cheerleaders to hold aloft the corporation's water stewardship credentials. That it's bottled waterbrand Dancing was awarded with `Consumer's International 2007 International Bad Product Awards' - filtering drinkable tap water andselling it back to the market, particularly in Europe; that it faces charges for human rights abuses of union members trying to organise Coca-Cola plants in Colombia; and that two-thirds of freshwater used by Coca-Cola is converted into wastewater globally are facts that the company will see erased sooner from the public memory!

Co-opting unsuspecting civil society organisations to support corporation's green makeover comes handy. Coca-Cola's long-term partnership with the World-wide Fund for Nature; it's recent supportof $1 million to the Global Water Challenge, and its ongoing funding for more than 100 community water projects in 49 countries are designed to help the company avoid addressing reasonable questions. In India, where the privatisation of the state is nearly complete and where the idea of capitalism is fast sinking into middle-class psyche, the propaganda that a beverage company is recharging groundwater gets accepted without question....more

12. INSIGHT. Microcredit Fairy Tale

2008-04-21T04:25:00.000-07:00

Daniel N. White is an electronic `acquaintance' who is connected because we share our common concerns around `micro-credit'. Daniel does a blue-collar job, lives in Austin, Texas and has a skeptical enquiring mind. Else, he'd not be questioning the Grameen Bank's micro-credit model of development. Having read one of my critical pieces in The Hindu (see link below), Daniel wanted some ideas for good questions to ask Nobel Laureate Mohd. Yunus, during the booksigning event at the local bookstore, BookPeople, in January 2008.

Says Daniel, `...most everybody is brainwashed by the corporate PR that passes for news these days, and most everyone will be thinking that the Grameen Bank development model is the greatest invention to come down the pike since the wheel was invented. Yunus will be getting a bunch of ignorant, kissy-assed questions, and I'd like to ask him a good hard one or two.' Daniel's report on the event, being published by Black Commentator, makes interesting reading.

Yunus the media phenomenon. Kissinger was one once, Brittney Spears is one now. The mechanism by which it is decided that you get to be/should be one is one that requires investigation, as it is a most interesting and important sociological phenomenon. I am sure I am right that Yunus' selection is in large part for his being a cheerleader for capatalism. His only selecting good-looking women in the audience to ask questions makes me wonder if he might be heading down the Brittney Spears path. Should be an interesting show if that happens!

I listened to Yunus tell his story of how he came to start Grameen Bank, and how the important thing now was that he was doing things to promote busineses with a social objective. Yunus was weak on explaining what exactly the latter concept is and how it is supposed to work. While there are success stories from Grameen's files, they are proof of nothing but the desperate crying need for capital in the third world rural sector. The drawback to microcredit is that the historical record shows these rates in aggregate over time are horribly destructive. Microcredit's track record is short; history's is long. And nobody smart bets against history.

Yunus has definitely tapped into something in the American psyche, in particular the well-intentioned white educated younger demographic's. Yunus' praise of individualistic capitalism certainly is a message that suits the stone hearts and tin ears of ruling elite America, and that accounts for much of his stateside PR. Yunus is telling us a wonderful fairy tale about how capitalism actually works if done right, and how if done right in the rural Third World it will save those people from underdevelopment and lives of hardship and misery.

In the US, people are torn by their deeply ingrained beliefs in capitalism, which we most all have due to the relentless propaganda for same that has always surrounded us in our daily lives. Most everyone knows in their heart that the large corporations run things in this country, both the economic and the political end of things, and that they are fundamentally more heartless organisations than the mafia. People want to believe the propaganda they are surrounded with, even if their own experience tells them otherwise; it is just so much easier that way.

Yunus' fable of capitalist success yielding a saved third world allows people here the luxury of believing in the fairy tale we know consciously as adults is mostly false. It saves us all a great deal of cognitive dissonance, which after all is hard work. It may not work here that well, but Yunus tells us it will work THERE, a far-away there that we know not at all, and we are happy because of it.

(Yunus picked on three good-looking women for their questions following his speech and left Daniel fuming with his question: `Dr Yunus, why is it that your 36 % interest rate (or even more) microcredit loans are going to promote rural development when historically those same interest rates destroyed small farmer landowning and turned yeoman landed farmers to landless peasants?')

11. REFLECTION. Guaranteeing Potable Water!

2008-04-18T01:03:00.000-07:00

Unlike the stock market indices, imagination can be taken to any height.

So, let’s imagine a world where all fresh water will be available in a bottle. While many will fume at this proposition, several others will concur that indeed we are not far from this possibility. Though there isn’t any evidence, it is likely that leading beverage giants have business plans ready.

Isn’t fresh water in short supply and municipal supplies in utter disarray? Tap water is a luxury for the teeming millions. To uphold people’s constitutional right to water, let there be a demand for a national potable water guarantee scheme (with reference to India). Unlike a mere 100 days of guaranteed employment under the National Rural Employment Guarantee Scheme (NREGS), the present proposal seeks uninterrupted access to potable water for every citizen, 24x7.

The phenomenal reach of bottled water alone can guarantee this right. Isn’t bottled water available in plenty even where taps run dry for the better part of the year? That’s because there is a class that can easily afford it. But its unrestricted reach, albeit to those who can afford it, absolves the government of its primary duty of providing potable water. The poor are often left to fend for themselves in a Darwinian struggle along the urban fringes and in far-flung villages....more

9.FUN REPUBLIC: Is it dance or rolance?

2008-03-22T02:08:00.000-07:00

From Boogie Woogie to Jhalak Dikhla Ja and from Nach Baliye to Rock `n' Roll Family, the celebration time on Indian television has yet to stop. Opening any popular channel on the television takes one to live (or recorded) images of children, couples and families dancing their way to ecstasy, giving a feeling that the entire country has hit the dance floor. Age no bar, caste no consideration and gender undifferentiated, dance has been democraticised across the television channels for past few years. With most reality dance shows generating hefty sponsorship revenue through respectable viewership (or TRP), the channels are unwilling to let the genre rest in peace.

After kids, couples and parents having been on it, one wonders who could be the next? Don't be surprised if your maid makes it to next grade of the reality dance show! And why not? But spare a moment for the suspecting wife who will find her husband publically cheer the pelvic gyrations of his favourite maid! There could be much in store as reality shows expand their penetration into small towns and cities - making celebration `inclusive'. Did'nt the prime minister reiterate the need to `make growth inclusive'? Here it is, the television channels have shown the way to do it.

With a nation-wide audience in attendance and with prizes worth lakhs in store, no one is scared to look silly. Instant stardom and quick cash is on the minds of the burgeoning middle class, from Jaipur to Jamshedpur and from Pune to Purulia. Clearly, small town India has shed all its inhibitions to go where no other from their generation has gone before - to the studio dance floor. However much one shun the dance floor or opt out of the live program, we remain party to this great `celebration era' of modern times as each purchase at the grocery store and every text message from our mobile contributes to making the unsuspecting public dance to the greedy tune for making instant money.

Be it the corpulent grandparents or their precocious offspring, each represents a society in transition with huge `aspirations'. As bad policy and inept governance dumb the public mindscape, reality shows have seemingly emerged as convenient vents for releasing accumulated frustrations with the prime motive of realising one's hidden aspirations. But being a public display of collective emotions it reflects us as a nation that has stopped thinking; that no longer rues inherent fatalism of accepting injustices; and that which cocoons itself from the rest of its fraternity for narrow self-interests?

Else, how could this unique public-private partnership engage in collective celebration when farmers' suicides have become more of a norm than exception; when millions face displacement at the altar of giganticism; and when one-third of districts in the country exert self-rule. The dance floors may be distanced from such realities but dry taps, choked drains and clogged roads are everyday realities in the colonies and the streets that these dancers cross to reach the studio. Isn't it is clear reflection of mind-body-spirit disunity in a deficit democracy where consumerism pretends to fix problems by creating illusion of affluence and opulence?

Could this dance be anything but rolance - a belief wherein the dead body starts dancing under the influence of an evil spirit. People in the Lahaul-Spiti region of the Himalayas (in the state of Himachal Pradesh in India) believe that if a dead body is kept without proper vigil, an evil spirit enters into it. Haven't evil spirits entered our collective self-conscious? It is further said that as an evil spirit enters the dead body, it starts doing all kind of odd things including dancing. As you watch the next episode of your favourite reality dance show, imagine them to be the rolances of our times!

8.COMMENTARY. Security Lapse. Is it?

2007-11-06T06:07:00.000-08:00

In a recent outburst the Delhi High Court echoed the subdued sentiment of the millions. No wonder, one of the rarest judicial indictment of the state was flashed on front pages of newspapers, with a majority giving the judiciary a `thumps up'. Arguing that politicians were not a `national asset' to be protected by so many security personnel Justice T S Thakur had told the counsel of the central government."You should not let these men (politicians) come out. Their presence in public places itself threatens the common man."

While the judgement on the matter should be some hearings away, the harsh observations are nevertheless significant on two accounts. One, the court shows them (politicians) their limited worth and two, that protecting them denies security to the common man. Though it may sound painfully amusing on one account, it unfolds a glaring anomaly of democratic polity in the world's largest democracy. Should peoples' representatives be (over)valued above the general public they seem to serve?

So, it seems. As a Z+ security cover guarantees no less than 75 police personnel with a fleet of vehicles including a bullet proof car. Remove the plus and the Z security translates to 39 persons in uniform with a medium fleet of jeeps. At the third tier, there is Y category that engages some 13 police personnel round the clock. Multiply it three times to get the actual number of men in uniform engaged in VIP security in three daily shifts.

Undoubtedly, security of important persons in the capital of the country is worth Rs 20 crores each day, with thousands of police personnel on duty. Not satisfied with the counsel's contention that these people need security the court painfully pointed out the irony that "People are being murdered but it does not bother you. You are failing to provide proper security to them but you deploy a contingent of security personnel with lethal weapons for the politicians."

Out of total available police force available in Delhi, 55 per cent are engaged in VIP's security, 3.6 per cent are involved in managing traffic and merely 32 per cent are in active policing for a population in excess of 100 million people. It must however be noted that a significant proportion of the force in active policing is engaged in regular investigations. If this is the state of affairs in Delhi, peoples' security in other cities and small towns can be easily inferred.

The police to people ratio is clear reflection on how indeed common man's security has been systematically undervalued. The police to people ratio is a pathetic 10 to 10,000 persons in India while countries like Hong Kong, Malaysia & Thailand have a ratio of 47, 34 & 33 respectively. Unless this skewed ratio gets addressed the police jeeps plying on the roads with the inscription `with you, for you always' will remain a mere statement of intent.

With the criminalisation of politics and politicisation of criminals having grown hands-in-glove, the degeneration of democracy in the last six decades has reached an all time low. About half the members of the parliament hold criminal records against them and letting them out in the public places, as the court rightly observed, may amount to threatening the security of the common man.

In its defense, the government informed the court that it was revising the policy pertaining to personal security provided to important people and submitted a document in a sealed envelope, understood to be containing such details.The court was scathing in its attack:`There is nothing secret in these documents. You have got a habit of putting everything under cover. Can the security of these men be protected by putting these papers in sealed cover?' It couldn't have been more embarrassing!

Whether this judicial tirade transform the situation on the ground is a matter of deep conjecture! But the fact that the issue of grave social concern has been raised to expose the self-serving nature of peoples' representatives should be indicative of the process of degeneration that the governing structure has gone through. That the judiciary has to reprimand the government on matters like these reflect an abject failure of its self-corrective mechanism.

Watching a heavily protected politician passing by during one such traffic diversions, my five-year son was wondering whom the police was protecting? Before I could articulate my considered response to match his nascent thinking he quipped: `isn't there a criminal being escorted by the police'? It reminded me of one such moment several years ago when as a young child I was witness to the then Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru moving about in an open car waving to the roadside crowd on a visit to Hyderabad!

7.ANALYSIS. Is it worth an idea?

2007-11-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

This new 60-second television advertisement has the potential to undo what the politicians of all hues have successfully accomplished in the the last 60 years - to divide the country along caste and religion. The imaginative advertisement, also released as half-page print ad, features Abhishek Bachchan as a young sarpanch who takes a bold decision to settle the ongoing feud between two warring factions in his village by replacing peoples' names with their mobile numbers instead. The sarpanch makes a profound statement: `neither any cast and creed, nor any disparity and discrimination.'

Obliterating the inevitability of caste by skipping second names from identity plates in favor of mobile numbers, the ad sends a strong message to the democratic polity of the country. Haven't unsuspecting masses been long exploited for narrow political gains? The ad takes a step further by dedicating roads to mobile numbers at the cost of names that smell of political appeasement. The suggestion is not to re-invent mobile number for the greats like Gandhi but to avoid unnecessary politicization of inaugural ceremonies at the cost of public exchequer.

Without doubt, politicians will discount such far-fetched implications of a commercial. But for an overheated democracy that sustains itself on caste and religion divides and remains in perpetual election mode therefore, the advertisement comes with a whiff of fresh air. Says the ad agency's creative director: ''the question was to position the brand as a better idea when it struck us that if everybody had a number and not a name, it should put to rest a lot of our problems.'' Pitching its message around social harmony, the mobile telephony route to social change may seem a bargain by any standard.

In a country where a million new subscribers become mobile phone owners every week, dismissing the inherent power of this handy gadget to spur a new social order may seem somewhat perilous. Haven't there been umpteen stories of mobile surprises - from fishermen in Kerala earning more money and wasting less fish by phoning different coastal markets to the use of mobiles in improving relief planning in the wake of recent Peruvian earthquake, and to the poor women in Bangladesh who surprised the world by making a new living through activities like re-selling airtime and prepay cards..

More surprises should be on offer once mobile phone makes inroads into far flung areas. Undoubtedly, technology is an empowering tool that brings about social equity and provides equal opportunities to the poor to gain access to services and to support livelihoods. It may have surprised E F Schumacher, the celebrated author of the Small is Beautiful, who was of the view that new technologies widen the gap between the rich and the poor. The fact that of the half of the world's 6.5 billion people who now use mobiles more than twice as many mobile owners are found in developing countries suggests that mobile phones are as much a pro-poor gadget.

Mobile phones growth has been unprecedented. In less than a decade since its launch, over 200 million users are hooked to mobile phones in the country and the number is growing relentlessly. Though it is half the number of users in China, the fact that owning a mobile goes beyond the notion of social status augers well for its rapid expansion into unchartered terrain. The challenge however remains as over a third of the country's population, an estimated 350 million, survives on less than a dollar a day. Achieving social harmony without economic emancipation will remain a far cry!

However, the advertisement seems to have taken a good measure of reality before proclaiming mobile phone as the ultimate change agent. If caste discrimination was akin to racism in regarding discriminated groups as `biologically inferior and socially dangerous, the idea of a mobile phone decimating such social disorder can best be described revolutionary. While the overriding intent is clear, the means to deliver the content may need social awakening. Without doubt, it is worth an idea!

6.INTERVIEW: Ageing Agriculture

2007-10-31T06:13:00.000-07:00

The 300th issue of Alive (Oct 2007), one of the Delhi Press Publications' quarterly magazine established in 1940 as Caravan, interviewed Sudhirendar Sharma (your host) for its introspection of Indian agriculture in the 60th year of country's independence.

How do you rate the growth of agriculture sector in India during the 60 years of independence?

Poor or should I say `very poor'. The irony is that the sector that fed the country cannot feed itself anymore. With farmers' suicides more of a norm than exception, the parliament was informed about over 100,000 farmers' suicides in the last ten years, what more can be said about growth of agriculture?

How much successful have been the land reform programmes of the government so far?
Land forms! Heard of this term after a long time. Literally, no significant progress has been made. Interestingly, however, what the government could not move forward in 60 years has an interesting parallel. It is called SEZ, the Special Economic Zone. The government has now advised states to acquire 30 per cent land for SEZ.

Why there is so much disparity found among various states in terms of agriculture development?

Farmers have been lured through loan waivers, free power, cheap rice - all electoral gimmicks. Nothing serious!

What is the future of agriculture in India? Will India conitnue to be an agricultural country (Krishi Pradhan desh)?

A million-dollar question! National Sample Survey (NSS) shows farmers are losing interest in farming; demographic trend indicates rural:urban population will be 40:60 in next 15 years; urban industrial growth is pulling people out of farming; no let down in farmers' suicides; and corporate agriculture gaining precedence. It may remain `Krishi Pradhan' sans farmers.

What are the main problems facing the Indian agriculture today?

Simply put, a skewed input-output ratio with no social protection scheme for farmers.

Does the government keep the promises made to the farmers?
The problem is that the `problem' hasn't been diagnosed properly.

Is opening up of agriculture trade as per the WTO norms beneficial for the Indian farming community?

Not really, because WTO is not a level playing field. While we have reduced farm subsidies, EU has high subsidies. The farm prices cannot compete.

Can't ground level agriculture be promoted as a lucrative career option for the youngsters? Currently, there are various courses in agriculture and rural development. But all of them aim to produce managers, not farmers. Cannot we encourage our youths to take up farming as a career?
Retailing in farm products, yes! It suits urban lifestyle of the young. Taking up farming as a career. a big NO - so I think.

After the Green Revolution of the 60's and 70's, there are now talks of second similar revolution. Why?
It will be even more disastrous as the focus will be on serving the market'.

India is importing food grains once again. What is or who is responsible for this condition?
Policies of the State! Lal Bahadur Shastri had resigned following a train mishap, when he was the minister incharge during the 60's. Today, Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar informs Lok Sabha about 100.000 farmes' suicides and then proceeds to attend the all important BCCI (Board of Control for Cricket in India, of which he's the current President) meeting. The ethos and values are gone!

Mr Chandrshekhar Shrivastava had conducted this freewheeling interview.

5.REFLECTION: Nobel Peace Prize for re-inventing toilet!

2007-10-22T06:37:00.000-07:00

Common flush toilet with its numerous opulent versions has outlived its relevance! Undoubtedly cynical, it is time that this sixteenth century invention is taken back to the drawing board before it turns out to be a seat of inconvenience. It is neither a outrageous suggestion to shun the existing toilet nor a weird provocation to go back-to-the-cave, but a considered reflection on the flip side of a toilet.

Without doubt, flush toilet has evolved into essential convenience of modern living. No wonder, governments and aid agencies are flushing additional resources to meet the millennium development goal of bringing sanitation to all by 2015. Indian's rural development ministry is working overtime to meet its target of making the entire countryside free of open defecation by 2012.

Without disrespect to those who have yet to possess it, the fact that toilet eludes over a couple of billion potential users worldwide is good news for the planet! How could the world justify the intended conversion of precious freshwater into brown water at each flushing of human excreta? The original toilet design may have gone through several iterations ever since Sir John Harrington had drawn a patent in 1595, the fact that a pre-determined quantity of water makes it functional may turn out to be its nemesis.

It better be so, else the task of providing sanitation to over 66 per cent rural and some 24 per cent city dwellers will be at the cost of cutting down on water supplies from yet-to-be-covered population of over 400 million, scattered across villages and cities in India. However, with each use of the toilet, be it modern push button or the low-cost pour flush version, flushing anywhere between 6 to 15 litres of water providing sanitation is more than just building toilets.

In no way should it be construed that the idea of toilet be ignored. However, the pathologisation of sanitation has seriously overlooked the plain fact that toilet is a function of water that is getting scarcer by the day. Be it the UN Millennium Development Goals (MDG) or India's Total Sanitation Campaign (TSC), the focus on number crunching aims at achieving targets only. Whether or not there is water to keep the system in operation remains at the periphery!

Until this water guzzling technology is reinvented, its recurring cost will exceed the cost of building a toilet in the first place. And the cost will invariably get externalized, either on the ecosystem or on those who await their share of water. Unless sanitation is backed by treatment of wastewater, young children will continue to bear the brunt. Improper disposal of human excreta pollutes water which, coupled with lack of personal hygiene, takes daily tool on some 1,000 children in India.

Need it be said that water management is not only about managing fresh water but about protecting it from getting polluted too. A recent World Bank report laments that only 30 per cent of the wastewater generated in the country is put to any form of treatment. The incremental cost of wastewater polluting additional freshwater sources, be it surface or ground water, may prove costly in the long run.

Designing water frugal toilets with suitable wastewater treatment can no longer be ignored. Attempts at designing waterless and low-water consuming toilets have already been made. Incinolet is one such toilet design that utilises electric heat to turn the fruit of your labours into a tablespoon of germ-free ash. By using microwaves this American invention replaces flushing with incineration. However, its prohibitive cost is deterrent to its mass scale adoption.

Inventor's Peter Soulsby more benign aerobic toilet promises drastic cut down in water use in the loo. Using saw dust and an electric fan to create aerobic conditions, this design consumes 2,500 litres of water per 40,000 sittings, as against 600,000 litres in a conventional flush. However, none of these inventions have been able to replace the conventional toilets that are not only cheap but less complicated too.

Research on creating alternate toilet designs need to be taken on priority such that the 21st century becomes the `century of alternate toilets', much like the 19th century that was called the `century of toilet' when new patents were drawn to help improve the quality of WC that launched several attractive designs in the market. However, this time around a Nobel Peace Prize may be in the waiting for anyone developing an alternate toilet design for widespread adoption. Any takers!

4.ANALYSIS: Leaving it to the US will be disastrous!

2007-10-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

If you are one who is worried about illicit drugs afflicting your college-going children you have a profound reason to be so, as farmers in Afghanistan have began sowing seeds of what is expected to become the biggest and most lucrative opium poppy crop yet. For the poor farmers in this war-ravaged country, poppy harvests secure their livelihoods. It is however another matter that field upon field of beautiful bloom also fuels $ 400 billion worth of global trade in illicit drugs and several billion worth in arms trade.

Should Afghan farmers be held responsible for misuse of opium that has medicinal properties? Can they be dissuaded from growing poppy? They might oblige provided alternate crops are as lucrative! Researchers have burnt their fingers with alternate crops like saffron and mint, none fetching as much as US$ 122 to a kilo for poppy. For negligible input costs and a longer shelf life, poppy remains the best bet. No surprise that opium's export worth at US$ 3 billion contributes 40 per cent to Afghanistan's GDP.

Undoubtedly, there are good reasons for farmers to grow opium poppy and for the rest of the world to be uneasy at the same time. Does this not leave the world exposed to the menace of drugs? So it seems, as the political economy of a country weakened by ongoing war finds itself vulnerable to the divisive forces that exercise control over peoples' lives and livelihoods. With its growing influence, the Taliban have encouraged poppy cultivation to obtain a large part of their funding through trade in illicit narcotics.

And, they have indeed been successful as neither the $ 100 billion a year war been successful nor the piecemeal efforts to wean farmers from growing poppy. The crucial question remains: If Afghanistan were to somehow able to reduce opium production, who would benefit? The Taliban and black market entrepreneurs, whose stockpiles of opium would skyrocket in value. Thousands of Afghan peasants will plant illegal harvest, utilising guerrilla farming methods to escape eradication efforts.

It is good time for the Afghan farmers though, as the world debates its strategy to control opium growth. The crop of 2007 was up by more than one-third from 2006. It is quite likely that the current annual harvest of 8,200 tonnes, over 93 per cent of the world's harvest, will be bettered the coming year. Afghan farmers make profit but the problem is that they are producing 3,000 tonnes in excess of the global demand, fueling illicit opium trade worth US$ 20 billion....more

3.CAMPAIGN: Neither do they emit fumes nor ignite road rage

2007-10-03T03:12:00.000-07:00

When improved cycle rickshaw, with speed gears and ergonomic design (see picture), was launched in Agra in 1997, the future of poor man's public transport had started looking up. Ten years later, the status of rickshaw is that of abject ridicule as many cities have banned the movement of this environment-friendly pedal-powered convenience from municipal limits. While the historic Chandi Chowk in Delhi had banned the ubiquitous rickshaw following high court orders (a petition challenging the court's orders is in India's Supreme Court) five years ago, the adjoining satellite township of Noida has recently curtailed its movement from busy sections of this fast developing city. Many cities in Asia, like Dhaka and Jakarta, too are forcing rickshaws off the streets.

Unlike in these countries where rickshaws are symbols of poverty, they are seen as symbols of the future in the developed nations - an environment friendly means of transport. And, they could be cheaper and less polluting public transport in congested areas of big cities in the developing world if municipalities would stop treating them as a nuisance. The number of cars in cities is not restricted but cycle rickshaws are. In contrast, on New York's fifth avenue people could be seen looking around for cycle rickshaws in the evenings. Elsewhere in North America and Europe, cycle rickshaws are finding favor with the commuters.

The India Cycle Rickshaw Improvement Project, undertaken by the New York-based Institute for Transport and Development Policy (ITDP) , was borne out of the realisation that improving the design efficiency of human-powered public transport could be a win-win situation. From improving city environment to providing gainful employment, rickshaw could be a cheaper mode of public transport. The ITDP designers had deployed tubular body to reduce rickshaw's weight by 30 per cent ; designed multi-gear system for easy pulling; and had created low height passenger friendly seating features. All this, within the cost of a traditional rickshaw - an estimated US $ 150 only.

Though several rickshaws plying across cities do resemble the improved version, the clones do not carry the essential elements of the design. Says designer Shreya Gadepalli, who had worked on the project, "... as the principal designer it does pain me to see that not all vehicles are as light, safe or comfortable as they could have been; features like multiple gears, which were seen as an extra cost, were done away with." With support from the USAID, the India Project had contributed to improving no less than 300,000 rickshaws in as many as 100 cities. However, the spread of the revolutionary design has ceased since the project came to a close in 2003.

Thanks to an indifferent policy environment and an irresolute rickshaw industry, the innovation aimed at benefiting as many as 4-5 million cycle rickshaws in India has literally been squandered. As developing countries go through economic boom, the nature and growth of road network does not take rickshaws into account. With elevated corridors being one convenient way of avoiding traffic congestion in the cities, the rickshaws gets excluded as a result. Against the powerful automobile industry, the unorganized human powered vehicle industry stands little chance to impact change.

Much ado about climate change and yet this non-polluting mode of transport gets a raw deal! The modernization of cycle rickshaw in India has already proven to be a more cost effective way of reducing carbon dioxide emissions alongside securing better livelihoods for millions, at no extra burden to the state. The launch of improved rickshaw in Agra was aimed at reducing harmful emissions from polluting auto rickshaws and cars from the periphery of the one of world's seven wonders. However, in the absence of political patronage the inherent potential of cycle rickshaws in generating elusive carbon credits for the resource-crunched municipalities is being missed.

Earning carbon credits may not be far-fetched but the fact that rickshaws generate gainful employment for millions should be reason enough for developing countries to be empathetic towards it. The results of the revolutionary design changes had led to an appreciable increase in income for traditional rickshaw, from a low of Rs 75-80 to Rs 110-120 per day. After deducting the rental costs, the previous earnings were only marginal higher. Interestingly, the new design gave the poor rickshaw drivers a chance to earn more by spending less energy. However, for manufacturers and contractors the enhanced income to poor rickshaw drivers has been of little consequence.

Without doubt, there is space and scope for integrating cycle rickshaw into the urban transport plan. Banning rickshaws on the pretext of congestion on city streets is irrational, cars and auto rickshaws owe much more to it. Cycle rickshaws hold distinct advantage over motorised transport: these are non-polluting and non-violent form of public transport. Neither do these emit fumes nor ignite road rage! Unless public policy allows cycle rickshaws to negotiate their position, an opportunity to impact change in the city environment in light of ensuing climate change will be missed.

(this blog has been published under the title `Eco-friendly vehicles crushed under motor wheels' in the Bangalore-based multi-edition daily Deccan Herald)
http://www.deccanherald.com/Content/Oct252007/panorama2007102432135.asp

2.CONCERN: Is the Earth getting on the corporate balance sheet?

2007-09-26T10:19:00.000-07:00

It is an imaginative advertisement that unleashes the power of wireless communication. Reliance Communications advertisement on the television uses three distinct frames - majestic snow clad mountain peak, sprawling sea with a swinging boat, vast desert with an insect moving across - to mirror the absence of air, land and water in that order. Nothing is lost, the musical tone forming the background score reassures that there is indeed `network' to proxy for everything else! Like a bikini, this amazing ad conceals more than it reveals. If clean air is not a marketable good with a price then the market places no value on it, the ad seems to suggest! However, if land and sea could fit into the corporate balance sheet the same must be appropriated using the emerging `network' albeit of politicians, bureaucrats and businesses.

From the Tata's controversial mini-car project that has displaced farmers in Singur to the Sethusamundram canal that will run across Ram's mythological bridge at the cost of fishermen's lifesaving catch, the fissure between what is good for `growth' (read `network') at the cost of `people' has been widening by the day. Yet, each of these projects and several upcoming ones being cleared by the `democratically' elected governments across the country (and even in other growing economies in the region) claim big gains for the poor. Despite the fact that doubts about benefits from such projects remain unanswered, bad policy making and insouciant politicians always pull such projects against all odds in India, purportedly to nurture the fledgling `network'.

Skim through the published reports and it would be hard to get a single credible report on the benefits of the Sethusamundram project, the project to dredge sand across the so-called Adam's Bridge in the Gulf of Manner region. Yet, there is unstinted support to the project from powers-that-be in Delhi and in Chennai. One wonders if the Union Shipping Minister and the Tamilnadu Chief Minister have access to information that most others don't or that they haven't read most of what is available in the public domain? It is either a case of hiding strategic information from the public or about making ill-informed decisions on someone's behest, a shameless breach of trust of the public by its elected representatives that may hold the livelihoods and the ecology in the region to ransom!

Politicians may play ignorant to published facts but do the babus (bureaucrats) help doctor such project reports to suit the vested interests? Whether or not they do so, the babus form an important link in the policy-planning process. The critical question is: are they better informed than their political masters? N C Saxena, a widely respected former senior bureaucrat and a member of the National Advisory Council constituted by the UPA Chairperson Sonia Gandhi, considers bureaucrats to be as poorly read, if not worse. According to Saxena, `one would find only three books in the house of an officer of the Indian Administrative Services (IAS) - a railway time table because s/he is always on the move, a film magazine because that is the only book s/he reads, and of course, the civil list - that describes how many in the system are above him.'....more

1.TREND: Is stripping a new form of non-violent protest against oppression?

2007-09-21T02:41:00.000-07:00

One could have easily let it pass but the frequency of such occurrences leave you wondering if a trend is beginning to take shape amidst the civilized society. While it is tough to ignore it, the image nevertheless gets itched in your memory. Many may have missed it and rightfully so but the sheer coincidence of similarity between two diametrically opposite events of recent occurrence rattled my mind to take a dig at it.

As skimpy clad models get paid to walk the ramp in Delhi, transport employees in Jammu stripped to their bare essentials for not being paid adequately. Hasn't shedding clothes become a familiar human expression, though people strip for cross purposes. From stripping on the streets of Rajkot (above) to walking with bare minimum at the Lakme show (below), the art of stripping holds distinct currency for its protagonists. It seemingly varies between `catching attention' to `catching the eye'!

While designers bring out their creative best to uncover female skin, stripping as a form of protest has something no less innovative either. It is not a matter of choice for the protesters but the inevitability of being forced to shed clothes. Interestingly, both forms of stripping hog the limelight. Not only do the pictures grab column inches, these take precious air time too, becoming essential part of the media archives to be replayed for scoring better TRP ratings.

Why it doesn't matter to either of the sexes to outsmart other in the art of stripping? They have descended from the same moral high ground anyway, the proverbial Garden of the Eden! The crucial question: is there a psychological switch or a biological trigger that forces people to strip? With some of the most conservative people in ordinary life resorting to such extreme step, one wonders if it is in response to being `driven to the wall'.

Psychiatrists may have to split hair to get down to the psychology of stripping. So, it may be for the sociologists. But biologists have some sense of it as they consider men `left-brained' and `logical' and women `right-brained' and `emotional'. What amazes is the fact that despite using different portions of the brain to arrive at crucial decisions, there is gross similarity in the end result - at least in the matter of stripping. What is seemingly logical for men may indeed be emotional correct for women!

One might argue if stripping in public is worth the analysis. People do resort to stripping to grab attention but it's sociology may provide some interesting insights. It's inherent value lies in it being a non-violent expression against atrocities and violence. The likes of Pamela Anderson strip to stop violence against animals. Hundreds of young Greenpeace strippers braved chilling winds to highlight the impact of global warming on shrinking glaciers.

Does stripping empower the protagonist? I'm beginning to think so, as stripping is used as a medium to convey the message. Be it on the ramp or in the streets, there is a method in the madness of stripping. While it may project creativity and glamour on one extreme, it does reflect courage and defiance on the other. The power of stripping was at show recently during a one-day cricket match in England when youngsters stripping to unveil a brand of bikini had cost India the match!

Without doubt, the female form grabs more attention than men on the streets! Men offer a pathetic display of unruly bodies and there is something eerie about their last piece of cloth too. It is no surprise therefore that an enterprising woman in the UK trains people on the art of stripping. What to wear, how to strip are essential elements of this new art form. It may not be too long before street stripping becomes a gainful engagement. Watch out!

FOLLOW UP

On March 26, 2008, 41-year old Atali villager Indravadan Patel, an employee of a firm in Karjan which had closed last year, stripped down to his underwear in the provident fund office at Akota in Gujarat to protest against the delay in payment of his provident fund dues of Rs 50,000. Patel's claim that a clerk asked for bribe and delayed the release of his fund made him to take the extreme but a peaceful step. The clerk was suspended and the officials promised to settle the matter at the earliest. Does life not imitate art? In Lage Raho Munnabhai, a bollywood film released in 2006, an old man's pension was held up by a clerk under similar circumstances. The hero advises the old man to go to the office and practice Gandhigiri by taking off his clothes and handing them over to the clerk. And the work gets done. The only surprise in the present case is that it worked in Gujarat.

Stripping can get you a lot! Did Madam Carla Bruni, the French First Lady, say this? Your guess is as good as mine!