Dhai akhar prem ka

Many friends think I'm outdated as I avoid responding to digitally circulated messages and greetings. I consign them to the bin before the inbox runs out of space. There are reasons for such an approach. Such digitally generated and widely circulated messages rarely have personal touch. Digital is anything that is convenient and timely nonetheless, but such messages are bereft of human emotions and feelings. 

I value hand-written letters because we are not pieces of hardware driven by software. For me, there is something profound about sending and receiving letters. Much before it reaches the addressee, letter is written with the recipient in mind, its narrative length is conditioned by the paper of choice, the emotive touch is appropriate to the ink used, and finally the letter is on its onward journey. It takes time, effort, and patience to do so, and wait patiently but anxiously for several days for a response.   

I recall the era when writing letters, especially love letters, was a work of fine art. It's a tangible memory, a document frozen in time. And the act of writing has a humane touch. In a world steeped in digital communication the act of writing a missive is inherently human. A hand-written letter is devoid of any AI prompts which interfere with self-reflection and correct erroneous spelling or grammar. Handwriting communicates our personality in a way that Helvetica or Times New Roman cannot.

I am not alone in what is often considered nostalgic (and in crude terms foolish). Only recently, to revive the art of letter writing, Indian Posts initiated a letter writing competition called, Dhai Akhar (inspired by 'Dhai akhar prem ka', Saint Kabir's famous phrase to describe love.). The idea was to evoke love for letter-writing in a digital age.  To everybody's surprise, it received more than 700,000 entries by the closing date of Jan 31, 2025. For flesh-and-blood creatures, there was nothing better than share life experience in all its richness, risk, beauty, and misery.  

This campaign allows us to express our feelings to bring warmth in our relationship. We cannot upload our minds to the cloud and transcend the world. Honest self-expression through letters puts the sender and the receiver on an equal pedestal. Each feels the importance of having been spoken to. When we try to replace that reality with a digital facsimile, we are lost.       

102. Nostalgia is a feel-good feeling

A friend met me after a long time at a little-known restaurant which we often used to frequent for spending those lovely moments. Nothing recent we talked about; the past was only recalled with rejoice. I guess we didn't reinvent any moment, we only relived the past. Nothing new was talked about, and yet we were not tired of repeating it. It seemed we had started from where we had left that day, many years ago.  

We were being nostalgic, and it made us feel good. Not without reason are psychologists trying to analyze the enduring appeal of the past which, till recently, was considered a sickness. Derived from the Greek 'nostos' (return) and 'algos' (pain), nostalgia no longer means 'return of the pain'. On the contrary, it now improves mood, increases self-esteem, strengthens social bonds and imbues life with meaning. Else, why would a forty-plus be ecstatic about an old forgotten moment?

Many acquaintances have gone nostalgic about 'rim-jhim', the popular masala soft drink of the 80's that is now being revived. One of the strong reasons for relaunching the four-decade old drink rests on a study which concludes that among other things the consumers are becoming nostalgic about their taste. As fashion, lifestyle and attitudes of the past stage a comeback, nostalgia is something the market has prepared itself to reckon with.     

However, nostalgia is not just about happy memories; it can also be about longing for a time when things were simpler, or for a time when we felt more connected to others. Nostalgia is a relatively new concept. The word was first coined in 1688 by Swiss physician Johannes Hofer, who defined it as a neurological illness of continually thinking about one's homeland and longing for return.

Sheer experience tells us that middle-aged might score better over younger generations in being nostalgic. Maybe for the modern geeks there are gadgets and girlfriends to keep themselves glued to the 'present'. But for the middle aged, being nostalgic reminds them that their lives have been worthwhile, that they are happy, and that life has some sense of purpose or meaning. 

Given the monotony of present-day life, nostalgia is seemingly becoming a great escape to the good olden days. But there are those, and a good number of them, for whom the past is a flashback of painful memories. For such souls, 'nostalgia workouts' are the next big thing that the neighborhood gyms will soon come up with. But for the blissful those who have had their first brush with love, being nostalgic is for sure a way of life that is not only personal but private too that the market has yet to tap into!