46. Reference check, anyone!

I question the wisdom of my friends in senior positions who without fail switch to plan B for hiring new staff. Handling volume of applications, short listing suitable candidates, and conducting personal interviews are tiresome set of tasks which may not lead to favorable outcomes. Why waste time and efforts if personal recommendation can do the trick, they tell me. With a moral obligation weighing heavy on such candidate, there is a greater chance for him/her to deliver results. There is some logic in the argument for sure!   

It isn't as if the conventional recruitment process has failed the test, but that the employers have mixed feeling on reference checks for hiring fresh faces. Often times, hiring managers fall in love with a candidate on paper and then again in an interview, only to find out through a reference check later that none of their previous employers would ever hire that candidate again. At the other end of the spectrum are those who, despite a favorable reference check, turn out quite on the opposite. Getting right person for the right job seems pot luck!

So, where does this take us? There is no denying that references listed at the end of curriculum vitae are tutored to provide glowing reports on the candidate. To ride over such predictable outcomes, employers have now started switching to social networking sites to check on candidate's outpourings and public image. What kind of people the candidate networks with; with whom the candidate is close enough and what kind of opinion s/he holds on general issues. Though it helps eliminate the weakness inherent in the conventional referral system, it becomes so watered down that it often falls short of credible conclusion.

I suspect the entire exercise is not as trivial as it has been made out to be. At the end, all potential candidates are but social animals and there is not much they can do to hide their behavior, attitude, aptitude, aspiration and ambitions. There are surely people out there who would know their antecedents better, and who would be willing to share it for the sake of the candidate's future. The challenge is to know who these persons could be and what kind of information one can seek from them.

After careful research I have drawn a list of resource persons who will do the honors. Here it goes - contact the maid servant for candidate's gender sensitivity, check with the plumber for candidate's attitude towards people; meet the landlord for candidate's aptitude towards others' property; and the girl next door for checking on candidate's aspirations in life. Interestingly, each of these references is available online 24x7. For senior level hiring, however, I can’t resist recommending ex-boss's wife and the candidate's former driver as perfect reference checks!

Looking at my reference check list my friends wonder if it will hasten 'firing' and not 'hiring' employees instead.

First published in the Deccan Herald, issue dated Dec 28, 2018, and The Tribune dated Dec 31, 2018. 

45. Why should red look blue?

Nothing could be more unreasonable to imagine than blood in blue colour, and yet it evokes collective embarrassment for the entire family on seeing a sanitary napkin advertisement on TV. As soon as the visuals pop on the screen, the channel is quickly changed. This is how society tackles head on the self-inflicted shame imposed on menstruation. Despite half of the world’s population menstruating for large periods of their lives, a culture of shame and taboo has been allowed to persist.

I find it hard to agree that part of the blame must rest with women who have hidden their perfectly natural bodily function, punishing themselves for being women. Breanne Fahs, a menstrual activist, writer, and a professor of gender studies at Arizona University, argues that the lack of a culture of menstruation could be the cause. She questions why this biological activity is viewed as a disgusting aspect of a woman’s life, and why it remains a subject less worthy of social and psychological inquiry. Isn’t the missing public discourse on the subject a reason for it being a taboo, and somewhat silly?

Had it not been for the recent movie Padman, the subject would have continued to be under wraps. The film presented the idea of feminine hygiene, but the script did not stretch beyond the idea of fixing women’s ‘troublesome’ bodies. 

Why is menstruation not viewed as an event of joyous rhythm? It may sound radical, but we should undermine institutions that deplete and eradicate the natural cycle of human life in favour of sexism and profit. In the West, coming-of-age narratives are beginning to challenge the entrenched notions of silence and shame. These stories on defiance are rewriting the long history of panic surrounding menstruation. The core argument is that if women don’t defy taboos themselves, they will remain trapped within the boundaries of patriarchy.

The emphasis of the culturally-defying narratives, wherein women have come out in the public to share their monthly experiences is that ‘the body, after all, absorbs, reflects, and mirrors the fundamental social forces of our times’. This new genre has begun to challenge the gendered notion and demonstrates the potential for menstruation as a radical form of feminist resistance. From menstrual art to menstrual stunts, from menstrual e-magazines to menstrual graffiti, there are provocative initiatives that view menstrual activism as a game-changer to make the inevitable monthly event playful.

From women being ostracised during ‘that time of the month’ to young girls shying away from school to avoid any ‘embarrassment’, restricting the function to just a case of hygiene serves limited purpose. Unless it disrupts the boundaries of patriarchy, and underscores the reality of misogyny, the case for writing a new story to destroy conventional narratives will remain an open invitation.

First published in The Tribune, issue dated Dec 19, 2018. 

44. From a parents' daughter to a husband's wife

By sheer chance it occurred to me one day that half of my close friends are proud single-child parents of a girl. And, many of them tell me in no less terms that a daughter - in an amazing, unnameable way - has filled their households with unknown brightness and joy. Bereft of such joy, I envy my friends because I somehow feel that girls distinguish themselves in making a household lively, colorful, vibrant, and fragrant. Not without reason did English poet Robert Southey wrote that 'little girls are made of sugar and spice, and everything nice' (and denigrated little boys to be made of 'snips and snails, and puppy-dogs' tails).

Not sounding stereotypical, I consider left-brain orientation of girls' favoring them for their distinct nice touch - tender, delicate and receptive. Oblivious of any such perception, one friend tells me that a girl-child brings in a form of energy that softens the quest for unending doing-ness in our lives. Another friend is quick to add that a girl child, through her sensitive actions, brings out the most humane in her parents, which perhaps boys cannot. General consensus among the group is that a girl provides a sense of completeness to the family.  

I am curious, but at a loss on how to react. Is the picture as distinct as my friends have painted? Are boys cognitively differently wired than girls? Based on my own experience, I can safely say that boy's brains are wired more for logical thinking whereas girls' are better at intuitive thinking. I imagine this wiring sets them apart as individuals. No surprise, girls exude concern and warmth in each of their actions. Even in small actions like serving tea they ensure a soft and nurturing attitude towards their guests, something that runs deeper into their being.     

Without being prejudiced, my problem is that I cannot entertain such paeans far too long. That the girls are warm and delicate, and the boys are curt and impudent offers skewed understanding of the hidden gender dimension. The friend who is on cloud nine talking about his daughter's virtues slumps to ocean depths while enlisting his wife's vices. Why has the left-brained girl taken an extreme right turn after becoming your wife, I ask him. Like most men, my friend remains reticent to dwell any further.   

I am as curious and probing as anybody else could be, because such cases of role-dependent behavioral change among girls are not only far too many to be ignored but have yet to be taken upon for clinical examination to any degree. You will agree with me that a girl to a father is no mirror-image of that girl to a husband. I often wonder at the travesty of things which transforms a goddess of compassion into its mark opposite, who may eventually mother a girl to spread feminine virtues yet again. 

Such is the cycle of human nature, that the less said the better. And not allowing my curiosity to take the better of me, I must confess that I feel no less honored and privileged to have friends who are parents to nature's unfathomable enigma. Much before the recent phenomenon of 'beti bachao' took to the streets they had in the silence of their households taken a vow not to have another child after a baby doll had arrived in their family. For them, that has been their world.

43. What a bore? Thanks for the compliments.

Bored of being Bored because being Bored is Boring

I remember my professor who would consider our boredom of having had enough lecture classes before his, by inviting us to do a quick write-up on 'what made you feel bored' before he could let us be free of any lecturing on that day. The onus was squarely upon us to do some quick thinking,  but writing on boredom was no less boring. It was a kind of drubbing that we could hardly escape. Net result, rarely could we take advantage of his generous offer.

We did feel bored surely, but were not able to translate it into words. Back to back lecture classes were often tedious and monotonous, and I suspect if these are any different now. Back home, my mother would often wonder what made youngsters feel bored as there was no such word in her dictionary. She thought we were too lethargic to engage ourselves meaningfully, and therefore felt bored. As for her concern, she always had some household chore to perform.  

Like many of the present generation, we didn't know that Greek philosopher Lucious Seneca had coined boredom in his writings much before Charles Dickens had drawn reference to it in his novels. That we felt bored was a reality which we were often up against. Little did we know that factory workers in Europe tried all kind of drugs to counter what is referred to as 'situational boredom'. What gave us solace (and dismay too), however, was that teenagers in every era defaced public property to counter 'temporary boredom'.

That boredom has a darker and a more complicated side, akin to depression, is a later day revelation for me. Had it not been so, literature would not have created characters (like Madame Bovary or Jack Torrance) for whom boredom had become dangerously existential. But I am sure not all humans respond to their boredom as these characters have, because boredom isn’t all bad as by encouraging contemplation and daydreaming, it can spur creativity. Surprisingly, it is considered to be the stuff that can help unlock the next big idea.

Equally surprising is the fact that the world's bore flock to deliberate on their boredom at what is called the London Boring Conference. Now in its eighth edition, the conference wants people to use the mundane as an impetus to creative thinking and observation. What worries the deliberations is that far from using boredom as an intellectual stimulus, the world is achieving intense stimulation at the click of a mouse or touch of a screen. This is killing the much desired human trait -- boredom.  

Since boredom is considered 'an aversive experience of wanting, but being unable, to engage in satisfying activity', it is viewed as an amazing idea that should be carefully nurtured. Don't get me wrong if I suggest you enforce boredom across your family members, especially the children. But to be able to do so, you must first be a big 'bore' yourself. Only by pumping boredom can we make children to seek engagement in creative ventures. We may need to make them watch light flicker or milk boil, by putting away their smartphone for a while. Else, it is only a matter of time that the world will become a boring place, if it isn't already!.  

First published in Deccan Herald dated May 11, 2018.

42. LESS is MORE is LESS

Aren't technology and its gadgets a great leveler? Indeed these are, as my house help gives me an edge in breaking news of all kind. Be it 'mann ki baat' or 'padosan ki chat', she often chuckles to find me struggling to stay abreast. She seems no less excited to have whatsapp powering her to stay informed, even if most of those recycled tidbits do pretty little to ease her life, and her increasing workload. There is a sense of empowerment nonetheless, getting more by paying less for the second hand smart phone.              

Little over a decade ago, a phone was just a phone. It could only help dial a number provided one could reach a phone. No more no less! It could neither act like an alarm nor a torch, it could neither click pictures nor convey written messages, and it could neither help you surf the virtual web nor assist the perverted mind to set off time bombs. Mobile phone is one among several gadgets that modernity has smartly milked to capacity, gifting the user more on each purchase. More of the world seems to have been squeezed into a small chip. 

Aren't we getting more from less in all purchases? Buy a trouser and get a shirt free; buy a television and get a mixer grinder free; buy a car and get a refrigerator free; buy a house and get the swimming pool free are market manifestations of a growing culture of 'less for more'. Without doubt, less for more has enticed all and sundry into it without any aspersion being cast on how and who pays for the so-called more in our lives. That more mobiles in a home may mean less sparrows in the courtyard is just one manifestation of 'yeh dil maange more', for less. 

Across almost all areas of human endeavor, less has created an illusion of more. A growing economy is generating less jobs; and never before has there been a more people suffering starvation, malnutrition, and general poverty. But I haven't found many who are complaining yet, unable to decide whether we are worse off or better off. My sense is that while numbing our senses, smart technology has nonetheless given us a semblance of equality, and a so-called good quality of life!     

The question worth exploring is whether this so-called good quality of life makes us happy? Outwardly, it may seem so and most people do demonstrate such an exuberance. The reality is not only far from truth, but grossly painful and annoying too. Else, why would Indians rank 133 in the UN World Happiness Index out of 156 countries, dropping 11 spots from last year. An elderly neighbor sums it up saying that 'we are an insecure lot, seeking solace in acquiring gadgets' and feeling happy about what keeps us ahead of our neighbor. 

No surprise we live in 'deficit' amidst so-called plenty. It is perhaps the greatest of all paradoxes as we plunge ourselves into seeking more from less.

First published in The Tribune on May 8, 2018.

41. Draining tears work wonders

On-screen King & Queen of 'tragedy' 

Forced laughter is what I often get to hear during early hours or late evenings from the neighborhood park. Few tired housewives and many retired employees squat together to muscle laughter as a means to unload their worries. I only wish it does make them feel lighter, but post this daily ritual rarely do they wear even a smile. There are laughter clubs too many, but there are any number of drooping faces that lurk all around. Does this form of yoga achieve anything beyond giving facial muscles some exercise?  

I would imagine that laughter clubs achieve only as much as the comedy shows, providing no more than momentary balm to an aching soul. It doesn't go any further, as people continue to carry huge weight of worries on their shoulders. Failure to offload it has led the society feel the unprecedented accumulation of frustration, depression, anxiety, and anger. It is a fuse that can and does trigger massive explosions every now and then. Won't you agree that not forced laughter but spontaneous tears can ease peoples lives? 

It did work however, and in not too distant a past. Middle-aged movie buffs would reminiscent with me the time when emotional family dramas on screen would have hundred of viewers sobbing in the darkness of a cinema hall. Not anymore, as wholesome movies have been replaced with wholesale products with first-week box office collection being the only indicator of a success. A market economy has little room for sob stories! 

It goes without saying that for the better part of the last hundred years, ever since Indian cinema came to life in 1912, the Bollywood movies have helped millions of viewers drain excess tears to remain psychologically healthy. It is an act of emotional incontinence that provides a variety of emotions find an easy escape. Once you are done with it, you are ready again to face the vagaries of life again. No wonder, sobbing stories have been the biggest hits of commercial cinema. 

Hundred years of Indian cinema produced tragedy kings and queens, irresistible Dilip Kumar and quintessential Meena Kumari (see picture) portrayed grief-stricken tragic roles pulled out from real life, which helped millions of viewers fulfill their biological and psychological obligation of shedding tears. At an immense personal cost, the actors proved that far from being a sign of weakness shedding tears was indeed an act of strength. There is nothing quite as cathartic as a good cry!

Time has come to give 'cry' a public image of strengthening vulnerable souls, much like in Japan where adults gather together to watch tear-jerking movies, and cry in public as a way of releasing stress. Dubbed 'rui-katsu' meaning tear-seeking, this new social phenomenon is spreading across the country as most people have come to realize that only through a good old cry can one get the feeling of having a huge weight removed from their shoulders. Any takers!

First published in The Tribune dated March 26, 2018. 

40. Rest assured, nobody takes rest there!

It is tough to convince my young nephew that 'rest room' is another expression for a 'toilet' only. In his early years of double-digit age, he has been as inquisitive as reflective in questioning what a majority of us would consider given. Even it had missed my attention that toilet as a term is passé, although not its functions under the new nomenclature. When indeed 'toilet' signs got replaced with 'rest room' boards? Hasn't it been a transition that we have got used to without wondering when did we ever enter a toilet to take 'rest'?

One could go at length to debate the semantics, and the interpretation of the term 'rest' in the context of being relieved of the nature's call. But I have learnt that 'rest room' is an american expression aimed at outwitting the prevailing terminologies for a public convenience i.e., Latrine is Latin, Loo is French and Toilet is English. Like one global currency, how about 'one' expression for a global human daily engagement! My nephew has made me to review this so-called hegemony of verbalization. 

You may wonder what is so uncool about it. Aren't things being made convenient for us, after all? No doubt, but 'cool' too is 'american' in essence that subsumes many linguistic expressions. It's economy may be touching rock bottom but its cultural dominance hasn't, which is a strange mix of arrogance and hegemony that the post-war america has mastered. Despite half the world filled with hate for america, from far-East to middle-East and from latin-America to southern-Europe, there are growing millions who love to talk and walk the american way. Isn't it 'ah-sum'? It indeed is, and if you haven't still got it that's how an american will pronounce 'awesome'.   
   
Would you call it globalization or will monopolization be a better substitute? Whatever be it, the world around us is fast turning what some commentators call 'americanese'. And the 'ease' with which 'american-ese' is becoming a norm is indeed baffling. From american brands to american sops, it seems to be the new way of life. It is fast turning youngsters of all hues into 'couch potatoes', and they are all 'kewl' (or cool) about it. It is, however, different matter that their parents are absolutely 'uncool' about it, and are often found fuming with rage at the growing trend that has caught on everybody, from Karol Bagh to Kasargod. 
               
Pardon me for my naivety but till the other day 'dude' for me was somewhat of a rhythmic expression for the word 'dud'. I may indeed be wrong, but I have logical reasons for persisting with it. I wonder why youngsters don't take offence to being called a 'dud(e)', and I checked it up with a younger colleague about it. I was told that there is nothing stupid about being called a 'dude'. it is a Scottish word that has been americanized since the early 1970's. 

Often a person belonging to the male gender is called a 'dude'. And for God-sake, I was cautioned, don't ask what's that which makes a dude distinct? Not only will it be 'uncool' but that I'll end up proving myself to be a 'dud'. 

First published in Deccan Herald, dated Jan 15, 2018.