90. A washing machine like none other

I still recall how excited my mother was when she had loaded a washing machine for the very first time in her life. Unlike an unavoidable contraption now, it was considered a luxury item then. In a mini celebration with a handful of neighbors in attendance and lots of washable clothes scattered all around, the machine was switched on with its gurgling sound. Her life transformed thereafter, she had not to hand-wash laundry anymore for the five of us. She could hardly believe the change due to her.

Loading the machine and watching it swirl dirty clothes remained a spectacle for quite a while before it got turned into a domestic ritual. Although electric washing machine came into existence in early 1900, my mother got to use it almost a century later. There are billions like her still in queue to get hold of a washing machine. For those who survive on less than 2 dollars a day, hand washing the laundry remains a drudgery.  

But laundry technology has continued to evolve with new machines and products offering improved efficiency, convenience, and sustainability. High efficiency washing machines claim to use less water and energy, reducing the environmental impact of laundry while lowering utility costs. Yet, not more than 3 billion people can afford to wash their laundry in electric washing machines. Washing machine is every woman's demand, yet gendered inequity persists.      

Not sure why laundry as a task got assigned to women, who clean clothes by pounding them on rocks after rubbing some cleansing stuff and draining the dirt away in streams or rivers. In colonial times, the most common way of washing clothes was to boil them in a large pot, then lay them on a flat board, and beat them with a paddle. Laundry was often a communal ritual along rivers and ponds where women did the washing. 

Ever since first patent was awarded for a washing invention in 1797, the history of laundry has gone through fascinating transformation. From its ancient practices in washing with hands to the present-day use of innovative technologies, the focus has remained on methods for keeping clothes clean and fresh. New technologies have promised to keep laundry even more efficient, convenient, and environmentally friendly.

If the virtues of a washing machine are too many to list, why it has yet to become an electoral issue? Every woman may vote for washing machine, but none would dare to 'wash dirty linen in public'. Keeping one's dirty linen especially away from prying eyes has been the preserve of the more affluent and genteel sections of society. It’s a reminder to maintain discretion, best to handle issues privately rather than airing them publicly.

Of late, washing machine has acquired a political dimension. As the act of washing dirty linen in public gets negated, the washing machine has instead been put to use to laundry the person clean (of his/her dirty attire) for the ballot box. The electoral value of a laundered candidate is worth an important place in legislative governance. One only has to pass through the right washing machine to be held neat and clean in the eyes of the public.       

89. Good riddance to bad rubbish

Raddi being weighed

As I have now put to rest newspaper reading as an erstwhile compelling habit, my memory goes back in time when my father would coax me to read a few column inches in the newspaper every day with an aim at improving my written and spoken language. Without doubt, it did improve quite a bit. In a small hilly town where we lived during my school days, the newspaper would get delivered only towards the afternoon but in time before I'd return from the school. It was lowly priced by today's standards, but some neighbors used to share the newspaper.      

Not for news alone, newspapers fetched petty cash for the household by way of selling newspapers as raddi. For working journalists in those days, the raddi value of a dozen complimentary newspapers could easily buy a dinner. Not without reason was selling old newspapers every month a keenly observed family activity, over the weekends.

The old newspapers were given the ceremonial send-off it deserved as the Fourth Estate. The print media was known to spread authentic facts and credible views. There was no going back on what was seen and read in print, the news often got quoted as the last word of wisdom, truth and authenticity.  

However, much has changed since then. Need it be said that newspapers have only degenerated to the extent of missing out on truth, authenticity and credibility. It took me quite a while to realize the reasons propounded by Swiss journalist Rolf Dobelli in his book Stop Reading the News, wherein he argues that to reward oneself with less disruption, more time, less anxiety, and more insights could only be possible by avoiding news. 

Now that I have stopped subscribing and reading newspapers, news is no longer to the mind what sugar is to the body. I am no longer addictively overconfident about carrying news, as it is a permanently inflamed and completely pointless appendix. The illusion of empowerment is grossly erroneous as the news is an opposite of understanding the world. It only reports events - events without context and perspective - which can easily be done away with.  One is better without such news.

The Merriam-Webster focus on 'authentic' as the word needing attention in 2023, has made the search for authenticity reach a new height this year. With the media (both print and digital) passing off fake news as authentic, the readers like me are like rudderless boats in a sea of misinformation and lies. As the media's business model involves shoveling the greatest possible magnitude of rubbish over the print and digital space, I am pleased not to be part of it anymore. I firmly refuse to be part of this sinister model.  

It is hard for me to imagine that what we used to discard as raddi after reading news, is now being thrust back on us as news. By getting rid of the compulsive newspaper reading habit, I have given good riddance to bad rubbish.   

88. Is divorce a bad marriage?

Celebrating Divorce

Ever since I witnessed the first divorce in our family a little over two decades ago a question has continued to linger: is divorce a bad marriage? With divorce being more of a norm than exception now, there are any number of subjective interpretations on offer to explain this growing phenomenon. While variations abound, the sum total of it all is that prodding on with an unsustainable matrimony is now a big NO. In that sense, divorce saves couples from bad marriages. 

Divorce in itself is not a bad marriage. Instead, it serves a savior not only for estranged couples but their respective families too. Given the range of internalities and externalities influencing conjugal relationships, divorce hangs as the sword of Damocles' over most marriages. No wonder, there is a rise of 50-60 percent in divorce rate in India which was once considered to have the lowest divorce rate globally, an estimated 1.1 percent.

Exceptions aside, it may be safe to say that most marriages remain on the brink. With 'divorcee or divorced' being an accepted social identity, nulling a relationship for whatever be its worth is more of a norm than exception. While as many couples get divorced, there are an equal number who get remarried too. It is rightly said that 'marriages are made in heaven'. No escaping the reality of it as marriage is referred to as a 'plural' in this time-tested proverb. 

If you wonder why marriage has become a platform for exchanging multiple wedding rings, it is worth referring to Philosopher Susan Sontag who remarked that marriage is an institution committed to the dulling of feelings. Susan's marriage lasted a total of nine years, and she was candid in saying that the flip side of marriage is repetition. Isn't it true that the capitalist consumer culture is built on the edifice of novelty, be it men or materials? 

The trouble with marriage is that it is perceived as a union of two bodies, and rarely of two minds. In the early days following marriage, the couple intuitively copy the same set of arbitrary behaviors and values. Outwardly they try to become one whereas in reality they are more than one. As the mind starts playing a dominant role, the two bodies begin to drift apart. As soon as they realize the impossibility of an imagined future, terminating marriage becomes most likely.    

For Agnes Callard, the celebrated author of Aspirations, marriage of the minds is critical for giving longevity to any relationship. Agnes, a mother of two grown up kids, told her husband one fine evening at the dining table that she was in 'love'. Agnes' divorce story is worth reading. She defines true love as a state of being, and suggests that true lovers don’t really want to be loved for who they are; they want to be loved because neither of them is happy with who he or she is'. 

As one reads more into the lives of Susan and Agnes, it becomes clear that more than the union of two bodies marriage is also a road to fulfilling suppressed aspirations that begin to surface over time. Two individuals rarely have the same aspirations though, and neither are aspirations infinite. At some point one has to get to the value that one is supposed to be aspiring towards. As aspirations of two individuals rarely conform, the writing on the wall becomes clear!

It is no surprise therefore that in a bid to chase their respective aspirations, couples have begun to celebrate divorce. Afterall, you only have one life at your disposal.