86. In the blue is hidden a tinge of yellow

An Olympic-size pool (830,000 litre) has
about 75 litre pee in it.  

With mercury touching a searing high, swimming pools are back in business. Who would not love to be in blue waters at this time? Barring early afternoons, cooling off in the pool anytime during the day is a bliss, be it in fancy star hotels or pocket-friendly neighborhood pools. But swimmers often wonder if swimming in other people’s pee in the pool is worth the risk? Curiously, no one has ever claimed not to have emptied one's bladder in a pool. After all, when you gotta go, you gotta go! 

The best option is to feign ignorance, counting it as a hidden price for a big comfort. After all, pee is over 95 percent water and the remainder gets diluted to have any serious effect. Celebrated writer Khushwant Singh found pee silent in swimming pools where its diluted presence is silently ensured. A 2012 study published in the International Journal of Aquatic Research and Education had reported that about 19 per cent of people admitted to having peed in a pool. Clearly, an underestimation but good for us.   

To pee or not to pee in a pool is subjective, only the bladder can take the final call. Pee may not be as bad as we might think, however. A British naturopath John W. Armstrong had cured himself by treating 'on nothing but urine and tap water' for 45 days  In urine, he had discovered a system of alternate medicine that his family had long been practicing for treating minor stings and cuts, and which even the Bible prescribed: 'drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well'. 

In his hugely popular book 'The Water of Life', published in 1944, Armstrong had literally advised his readers not to be pissed off, but instead cajoled them to pee aur jee - drink and live longer. It gained credence with politicians and celebrities, as much with ordinary souls. While former Indian Prime Minister Morarji Desai added a political tinge to his own perfect medicine,  the British actress Sarah Miles immunized herself against allergies for being on her own urine dose for over thirty years.

Having tasted thine own waters, Desai even went to the extent of suggesting pee to be the perfect medical solution for the millions of countrymen who could not afford medical treatment. Not without reason as Shivambu Kalpa, a treatise on the pharmaceutical value of urine, propounds it as an acceptable practice across several societies. Ancient Chinese documents describe benefits of drinking one’s own urine, and people in Africa and the Americas have long used urine for various medical conditions.     

Its medicinal value withstanding, the creative aspect of pee has been explored in Bollywood blockbuster 3 Idiots where pee only helps to hydrate the screenplay. The very idea of innovation in the script is pitched around this universal saline excretion, which is a good conductor of electricity. Pee is so creatively woven into the script that for once the Hindi-challenged character of Chatur Ramalingam's struggle to find a place for mutra visarjan (urination) through the 180-minute entertainer lands him in real trouble. 

Pee is more than an essential bodily output on a daily basis. For some, however, it is but a matter of making a living. Not long ago, I was witness to a bizarre incident when my midnight travel from the railway station was punctuated at a traffic junction. A minor commotion ahead of my cab raised curiosity and I soon learnt that branded alcohol was being sold for a pittance at the road junction. The driver, however, cautioned me to avoid getting trapped into such late-night sale gimmicks. Why?

Because it wasn't country liquor but fresh pee carefully packed in a new bottle being sold daily to unsuspecting clients at that traffic junction! After an initial shock, I could only laugh my way home. It may sound unethical but it speaks volumes about the innovative survival strategy of those who are engaged in such skillful vocation? At least, our pee bottlers are not playing with the lives of their unsuspecting customers but offering them a time-tested medical solution instead. Skill India, anyway!

85. The economic idea in a brief

Look-good indulgences

It is a universal fact that economic downturn shrinks individual consumption while encouraging saving decisions. However, noticeable are the unconventional and somewhat weird economic indicators that follow such income effects. Houses remain unsold and luxury cars overstay in the showrooms, but women continue to venture out to substitute their expensive purchases with affordable indulgences. No wonder, despite all odds the cosmetic industry looks up when everything else is down. 

Economic history repeated itself when lipstick sales in the US had touched pre-pandemic level of $34 million during the Covid lockdown, aligning with a 25 per cent growth in cosmetics during the Great Depression of 1929-33. This was so when there was a decrease in industrial production by 50 per cent. Even during the recession of 2008, the sales of a global cosmetic brand had registered an increase of over 5 per cent and during the economic downturn in 2019, the cosmetic industry saw a 116 per cent surge in China. 

Are women cognitively wired to comfort themselves with affordable look-good luxury during social and economic calamities? Seemingly, they are. Even following the 9/11 terror attacks, lipstick sales had increased by about 11 per cent in the second half of 2001 compared to the first half. Such a consistent trend had led experts to conclude that the sales of lipstick were inversely related to the general health of the economy, and consequently termed it the ‘Lipstick Index'.

'The Lipstick Index' is certainly a manifestation of the income effect but not everybody buys its relevance. Consumers, especially women, spend their discretionary income on smaller luxury items during economic duress. However, the rising popularity of other cosmetic staples has given women more choices to kiss the lipstick index goodbye. No wonder, in many countries nail polish, eyeliner and moisturizers have emerged as the new mood-boosting economic indices. 

'The Lipstick Index' may soon be replaced but the concept of the index is still there. Be it an ‘Eyeliner Index’, ‘Mascara Index’, or even a ‘Facemask Index’, the demand for feel-good and look-good products remain a reflection of affordable indulgences when the chips are down, No surprise therefore that demand for luxury hand-soaps, carry-in-bag handwashes, and pretty protective branded masks are on the rise, creating a new normal in the abnormal economic realities of the time. 

Unlike the economists, women have had their own way of reflecting upon the state of the economy. Way back in the mid-1920s, it was the ‘Hemline Index’ which suggested that the lengths of skirts increased in times of crisis, and grew shorter when the economy was booming. In Japan, the ‘Haircut Index’ was in vogue in the past. Japanese women would wear their hair long when the country's economy was doing well and short when there was a slump. Both the indices now seem to be of academic interest but continue to prevail in discussions on the subject.  

...left hanging

One wonders if men have nothing to reflect on such matters? They do, but the poor guys have nothing on the shelf to indulge in and consequently end-up bargaining their modesty by refraining from purchasing underwear during economic duress. What a pity? This has helped US Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan to coin the 'Underwear Index' in 1970, indicating that its upswing reflects economic growth whereas a decline in the sale of underwear proves the opposite. If men hold back from purchasing even an underwear, the economy must be in pretty bad shape. And, that indeed is the case! 

Much to the disliking of mainstream economists, these indices are bound to stay as they represent the state of the present economic downturn. Millions of job losses, surge in digital work culture, online education, and the urgent need of protection from the invisible predator might have induced a completely different form of representation and recovery than we are used to in any standard recession. The ‘Lipstick Index' and the 'Underwear Index' are amusing symbols of our economic stress. Wonder, what new indices might be in store in future? Your guess is as good as mine!

84. What if I were to tell you...

Actress Swastika was caught tucking a gold earring
while shopping in Singapore in 2014. 

Although I don’t remember the first time I did it, but It must have been an exhilarating and empowering experience. Else, I wouldn't have pursued the creative act that set me apart from my flock at the college, and even thereafter. I won't confide the number of years I have been into it, but I have never been caught in the act. And, I'm not embarrassed to admit that I have been an amateur shoplifter because there are innumerable others who do so but lack courage to admit. Shoplifting has fascinated people of every nation, race, gender and class ever since the first such incident came to light in London in 1591. I'm sure it must have pre-existed. 

Despite its illegality long established, the fact that there are innumerable others who are as good at it is curiously reassuring. Like copying that all teachers are aware of, shoplifting is every shop keeper's lived experience. In many ways, both are incorrigible human traits requiring a loose, casual energy, a sort of oneness with the environment, like walking or kite flying. No justification is being offered, but the urge is so instinctive that once you do it you feel obliged to carry on. Unlike weight-lifting and power-lifting, it is a pity that shop-lifting doesn't feature as a skill that one could wear with pride in public.    

There are any number of people who do it. I say this not to excuse myself but just so you can visualize that a legion of young, energetic, and intelligent people are into the act. This should not come as a surprise to find Britney Spears, Megan Fox and Lindsay Lohan topping the list of celebrity shoplifters. Being a woman has its advantages (as well as disadvantages), but why would the rich and famous need to go around? Because shoplifting is not the worst crime in the word, and in a hushed voice most admit to 'feeling guilty for not stealing, as though they were wasting money'. No wonder, many do consider the whole world to be one giant heist.  

Now, don't take this to heart. Viewing it through a moral compass would reflect an incomplete picture because it is not the act per se but the very idea of it that needs to be understood. Let me ask you: Does everyone not feel secretly fraudulent in life? Discreetly, everyone does! It gives a feeling of being an adult, to secure freedom to do as one deems fit. I doubt if not being a shoplifter makes one an upstanding citizen, a sweet person. My sense is that by laboring obsessively over the creative pursuit of shoplifting one hurtles through systems and hierarchies as if these were irrelevant. Indeed many are, and the reason to have no qualms about slipping curios and books into the bag. 

As you begin to disbelievingly wonder if what I told you is true, let me share with you the other side of shoplifting that recently came to light, which is shocking to say the least. Whilst every shoplifter evades being caught, many elderly women in Japan instead resort to petty shoplifting to get arrested. There is a disturbing reason to it, and a reflection on how society treats its elders. Living alone prior to going to prison, these elderly women describe jail as a way of creating for themselves a 'community that they can't get at home'. For them, jail is a sanctuary that provides not only company but also support and care. Hard to believe that shoplifting help some to fight loneliness!

First published in Outlook on May 15, 2022.