86. To say without being said

As the sale counters were clogged with anxious tourists seeking quick bite at a popular mid-way restaurant on the way to Dehradun, I took time to look around the noisy food court for clues that made it immensely popular over the years. With tourist footfall on the rise in recent times, the waiters and staff at the dining facility have continued to be warm and hospitable despite being overstretched. As I looked around for a possible explanation, the answer inconspicuously emerged from the least expected place. 

Amusing and yet thought-tinkling, an inscription on a side wall read: 'All our waiters are married, they know how to take orders.' The wit is as much funny as clever, exposing chinks in the widely perceived notion of male domination. For women, it is a matter-of-fact-statement that doesn't need further validation while few men who glance at the inscription assure themselves that it is not them, but others of their species. No wonder, it is difficult to deprive a wit of its social or political manifestations.

Wit is understood as the plaything of the intellectual or the weapon of nimble minds, expressed in playfulness with words which convey feelings without being offensive. I am reminded of lawyer extraordinary Mohammad Ali Jinnah who, on being interrupted thrice during a hearing by the judge who kept saying 'rubbish' on each occasion, had turned to him and said, 'Nothing but rubbish has passed from your lordship's mouth throughout the day.' Wit had helped Jinnah win the argument, but the court was adjourned for the day! 

Come to think of it, wit puts everything before us with a certain gentle, loving malice, winning us to laughter without for a moment alienating our sympathies for the targeted. A witty statement makes us enter into a more profound relationship with words, descending with them to a deeper realm for uncovering layers of embedded meanings. It is, however, another matter that not only is wit on the decline but its appreciation too has waned in the prevailing post-truth era.      

One possible reason for men of real wit to be limited could be because discernment and lenity, mirth and conciliation, are qualities which do not blend easily with the natural asperity of our race. Since wit can be expressed only in language, not many have the intelligent ability to say or write things that are clever and usually funny. However, a witty remark can be an accidental reflection of a civilized life too. Else, the directions to one of the restrooms in a restaurant won't have read: 'men to the left, women are always right'. 

There are many things in life so radically unwholesome that it is not safe to approach them save with witty humor as a disinfectant. And, when people cannot laugh, the moral atmosphere grows stagnant, and everything becomes too morbid, too preposterous, or too mischievous to meet with sympathy and solemn assurances of good will. This is why a sense of the ridiculous has been justly called the guardian of our minor morals, rendering us in some measure dependent upon the judgments of others. 

A wit helps ease out of such compelling human conditions. It is for this reason that I can't help but agree with James Geary, author of Wit's End, that wit is more than just having a knack for snappy comebacks as it helps us navigate conveniently through the vicissitudes of life. 

85. The economic idea in a brief

Look-good indulgences

It is a universal fact that economic downturn shrinks individual consumption while encouraging saving decisions. However, noticeable are the unconventional and somewhat weird economic indicators that follow such income effects. Houses remain unsold and luxury cars overstay in the showrooms, but women continue to venture out to substitute their expensive purchases with affordable indulgences. No wonder, despite all odds the cosmetic industry looks up when everything else is down. 

Economic history repeated itself when lipstick sales in the US had touched pre-pandemic level of $34 million during the Covid lockdown, aligning with a 25 per cent growth in cosmetics during the Great Depression of 1929-33. This was so when there was a decrease in industrial production by 50 per cent. Even during the recession of 2008, the sales of a global cosmetic brand had registered an increase of over 5 per cent and during the economic downturn in 2019, the cosmetic industry saw a 116 per cent surge in China. 

Are women cognitively wired to comfort themselves with affordable look-good luxury during social and economic calamities? Seemingly, they are. Even following the 9/11 terror attacks, lipstick sales had increased by about 11 per cent in the second half of 2001 compared to the first half. Such a consistent trend had led experts to conclude that the sales of lipstick were inversely related to the general health of the economy, and consequently termed it the ‘Lipstick Index'.

'The Lipstick Index' is certainly a manifestation of the income effect but not everybody buys its relevance. Consumers, especially women, spend their discretionary income on smaller luxury items during economic duress. However, the rising popularity of other cosmetic staples has given women more choices to kiss the lipstick index goodbye. No wonder, in many countries nail polish, eyeliner and moisturizers have emerged as the new mood-boosting economic indices. 

'The Lipstick Index' may soon be replaced but the concept of the index is still there. Be it an ‘Eyeliner Index’, ‘Mascara Index’, or even a ‘Facemask Index’, the demand for feel-good and look-good products remain a reflection of affordable indulgences when the chips are down, No surprise therefore that demand for luxury hand-soaps, carry-in-bag handwashes, and pretty protective branded masks are on the rise, creating a new normal in the abnormal economic realities of the time. 

Unlike the economists, women have had their own way of reflecting upon the state of the economy. Way back in the mid-1920s, it was the ‘Hemline Index’ which suggested that the lengths of skirts increased in times of crisis, and grew shorter when the economy was booming. In Japan, the ‘Haircut Index’ was in vogue in the past. Japanese women would wear their hair long when the country's economy was doing well and short when there was a slump. Both the indices now seem to be of academic interest but continue to prevail in discussions on the subject.  

...left hanging

One wonders if men have nothing to reflect on such matters? They do, but the poor guys have nothing on the shelf to indulge in and consequently end-up bargaining their modesty by refraining from purchasing underwear during economic duress. What a pity? This has helped US Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan to coin the 'Underwear Index' in 1970, indicating that its upswing reflects economic growth whereas a decline in the sale of underwear proves the opposite. If men hold back from purchasing even an underwear, the economy must be in pretty bad shape. And, that indeed is the case! 

Much to the disliking of mainstream economists, these indices are bound to stay as they represent the state of the present economic downturn. Millions of job losses, surge in digital work culture, online education, and the urgent need of protection from the invisible predator might have induced a completely different form of representation and recovery than we are used to in any standard recession. The ‘Lipstick Index' and the 'Underwear Index' are amusing symbols of our economic stress. Wonder, what new indices might be in store in future? Your guess is as good as mine!

84. What if I were to tell you...

Actress Swastika was caught tucking a gold earring
while shopping in Singapore in 2014. 

Although I don’t remember the first time I did it, but It must have been an exhilarating and empowering experience. Else, I wouldn't have pursued the creative act that set me apart from my flock at the college, and even thereafter. I won't confide the number of years I have been into it, but I have never been caught in the act. And, I'm not embarrassed to admit that I have been an amateur shoplifter because there are innumerable others who do so but lack courage to admit. Shoplifting has fascinated people of every nation, race, gender and class ever since the first such incident came to light in London in 1591. I'm sure it must have pre-existed. 

Despite its illegality long established, the fact that there are innumerable others who are as good at it is curiously reassuring. Like copying that all teachers are aware of, shoplifting is every shop keeper's lived experience. In many ways, both are incorrigible human traits requiring a loose, casual energy, a sort of oneness with the environment, like walking or kite flying. No justification is being offered, but the urge is so instinctive that once you do it you feel obliged to carry on. Unlike weight-lifting and power-lifting, it is a pity that shop-lifting doesn't feature as a skill that one could wear with pride in public.    

There are any number of people who do it. I say this not to excuse myself but just so you can visualize that a legion of young, energetic, and intelligent people are into the act. This should not come as a surprise to find Britney Spears, Megan Fox and Lindsay Lohan topping the list of celebrity shoplifters. Being a woman has its advantages (as well as disadvantages), but why would the rich and famous need to go around? Because shoplifting is not the worst crime in the word, and in a hushed voice most admit to 'feeling guilty for not stealing, as though they were wasting money'. No wonder, many do consider the whole world to be one giant heist.  

Now, don't take this to heart. Viewing it through a moral compass would reflect an incomplete picture because it is not the act per se but the very idea of it that needs to be understood. Let me ask you: Does everyone not feel secretly fraudulent in life? Discreetly, everyone does! It gives a feeling of being an adult, to secure freedom to do as one deems fit. I doubt if not being a shoplifter makes one an upstanding citizen, a sweet person. My sense is that by laboring obsessively over the creative pursuit of shoplifting one hurtles through systems and hierarchies as if these were irrelevant. Indeed many are, and the reason to have no qualms about slipping curios and books into the bag. 

As you begin to disbelievingly wonder if what I told you is true, let me share with you the other side of shoplifting that recently came to light, which is shocking to say the least. Whilst every shoplifter evades being caught, many elderly women in Japan instead resort to petty shoplifting to get arrested. There is a disturbing reason to it, and a reflection on how society treats its elders. Living alone prior to going to prison, these elderly women describe jail as a way of creating for themselves a 'community that they can't get at home'. For them, jail is a sanctuary that provides not only company but also support and care. Hard to believe that shoplifting help some to fight loneliness!

First published in Outlook on May 15, 2022.

83. Making a case for transgender sports league

Transgender: Cast in stone

How can life remain unchanged for those who have been relentless in showering good wishes and blessings on others? As if cast in stone, the attire and demeanor remains fixed with the conspicuous clap being their de facto identity. These distinct traits seem inbuilt into their DNA, though none of them procreate to facilitate its inter-generational transfer. Dressed in glittering dresses, with heavily coated cheap makeup, they crash fancy weddings and birth ceremonies. At crowded intersections, they knock at car windows demanding alms for being outcasts of the society.  

It is hard to miss them, and they scorn at being ignored. In their own mind the hijras hold the society collectively responsible for their transgender plight. Perhaps, the reason for them to seek monetary favors even at the cost of being socially despised. Including transgender and intersex persons, they assert to be looked after for being secluded from the mainstream of existence. This has left them with little option but to use theatrics to their advantage. However, behind their theatrics are often sad stories — of the sex trade and exploitation, cruel and dangerous castrations, being cast out and constantly humiliated. 

UN estimates that up to 1.7 per cent of the world's population are born with intersex traits, and as per 2011 census there were some 480,000 transgender people in India. In most countries around the world, intersex people are subject to social discrimination as the state has failed to assign them a gendered identity. While the Indian Constitution does not exclude transgender persons from its ambit, the social reality for them is loaded with prejudice and disdain. Perhaps the only of a kind landmark ruling in Germany has paved the way for an intersex identity law that allows people to choose the 'diverse' category on official documents. 

One wonders why transgenders have not been socially accepted, and accorded dignified living when they have been in existence ever since? Under traditional culture, transgenders enjoyed a certain degree of respect, and under Mughal rule served many administrative positions and also as the sexless watchdogs of their harems. But the British turned the tables on them, bringing a strict sense of judgment to sexual mores that led to mainstream discomfort beyond the binary of male and female identities. Consequently, they continue to be considered far from equal to the other two genders.

As guided aversion plays on our psyche, we often view those who come knocking at our car windows in crowded intersections as beggars in disguise. Ironically, we miss them for their immense emotional resilience and incredible physical endurance. They persist against unimaginable odds while showering blessings and good wishes on the rest. In recent times, however, few transgenders have jumped the social barricade by establishing themselves as beauticians and politicians. However, for the sizable number who come from lower middle class backgrounds such opportunities are few and far between.  

Little is realized that their inbuilt biology can come good at competitive sports. They carry higher testosterone levels that come in the way of their participation in major sporting events. What stops the world to create a new category that can break the rigid gender binary in competitive events? The Mx category has been designed to include transgender, gender expansive and intersex individuals, but pretty little has been done to implement it. As systems operate within a gender bias, discrimination doesn't end off of the playing field despite the world having gone beyond the binary of only Adam and Eve. 

Even Lord Rama didn't realize that there were other than Adam and Eve when he had exhorted those following their exiled prince into the forest: “Men and women, please wipe your tears and go away.” Most left but a group of people stayed behind, at the edge of the forest, because they were neither men nor women. They were the transgender who waited in the woods for 14 years until Lord Rama returned, which won them a special place in Hindu mythology. Pleased with their devotion, Lord Rama blessed them to bless others on various auspicious occasions like childbirth and marriage.

With the tallest statue of Lord Rama being erected to resurrect mythology, leaving those who were blessed by him to remain unblessed will only leave them muted. As atma nirbharta is the leitmotif of present political dispensation, leaving transgender at the mercy of an indifferent society demands serious consideration. Creating sporting leagues for transgender games will be a fitting tribute to their 4,000 years history.

First published in The Hindu on April 17, 2022.

82. Hair raising defiance!

Hairline Economy

Far from uniting us, the elusive virus has divided the world more than ever. And the sad reality is that the division is being reinforced rather than undermined. As a consequence, the rich are indeed getting richer, the poor are surely getting poorer, women are getting older, and men are losing hair. The other half need not frown however, as the receding hairline forecloses any chance for men to hide their age. Surprisingly, age matters more than the hair loss with a broad absence of concern in such divisive matters.     

No splitting hair in a matter as obvious as this, either way both sexes face hair loss at some point in time. The presence of glaring unisex salons and snazzy hair studios primed in ever increasing numbers have taken the hairline route to uphold the divide. In an ever-expanding capitalist economy, the market is loathed with ideas to strike a difference. Pretty progressive it may seem, as it entices clients to look outwardly groomed as a facade to reflect consumptive appetites that prioritize appearance over their own inner rumblings. A belief has sunk in, but at a huge cost that strengthens the divide. 

I am deliberate in my construction of the narrative, driven by my gratuitous aim of representing those who are rarely counted. My reference here is to the roadside salons, minimalist in their outlook with a chair facing the mirror hung from the boundary wall or the trunk of a shady tree. With rudimentary tools that are no less functional, these ubiquitous salons too contribute to gross domestic product though never feature in our annual economic survey. And on top, it is a net-zero emission activity by the roadside, not far from our doorsteps.  

Driven by discreet thoughts on economy and environment, and inspired by Martin Luther King's invocation to make systemic difference, I literally let my hair down at the open-air salon much to the chagrin of my middle-income household. Stubborn for over five years now, I have let my conviction get the better of the so-called shame to see the difference that can be made in the lives of others by being different. Given its varied implications, it is an affirmative action that gained quite a currency during the pandemic when many queued to use the safe open air option against the more risky confined salons.   

Roadside salons have come off age, virtuous during such infected times. For reasons, I hold one-man salon in high esteem. Imagine, if these were one-woman roadside salons instead! Until such time and till I get to wear a golf cap, to be trimmed under a shady tree shall remain my fascination. To be in nature to get rid of the natural outgrowth is enlightening to say the least. Undaunted by the unusualness of my action, there is enough usefulness to keep me hooked to the engaging activity that a sizeable number of roadside salons have spread under the open sky. When it comes to the matter of hair, I value hairy business that is done more with a purpose, and not profit alone. The stoic in me has its reasons.

Need I say that there is a lot at  stake at the lowest end of the hairline economy. And, as long as  there is no dearth of supplies on the crown I will only let my hair down for the lower end of the hairline economy to grow. I have no intention of stopping to make a difference, and may invite others to join for the sake of a hairy cause. Any takers!

First published in Deccan Herald on June 17, 2022.

81. A for Prayagraj, B for Mumbai, C for...

What's in a name?

Neither does A stand for Prayagraj nor is B for Mumbai anymore. Likewise,  the alphabet C no longer connotes Calcutta. Together with Allahabad and Bombay, the ABC of nomenclature change is all pervasive. To adjust to this change, one would need to opt for other easy-on-tongue handy names to denote respective cities. It doesn't end with three alphabets as many more cities seem to be in queue - purportedly to make gullible believe that re-alphabetization will turn things around, transforming the present dirty cities into future smart conclaves. Whether that happens, the name-changing game remains an act of political fabrication with revisionism being pushed to erase history of inconvenience.     

Shakespeare’s assertion that a rose will smell the same even if named otherwise makes sense but not when political undertones reflect a sinister design. This said, names carry the legacy that provides continuity to the existence of people and places. Further, names provide a sense of belongingness for those who inhabit the place, with a sense of purpose and a reason for the place to be. Any disconnect has undocumented implications. Such is its psychic impact that people carry forward pre-partition memories by naming their present dwellings as Kohat Enclaves, Multan Nagars and the like. Even within the country, the trend has prevailed within major cities. There is an innate connection that aligns the soul of the place with the identity of its people. 

No surprise that even after half a century of living in Delhi, I continue to register my identity with our ancestral village. Isn't such perception true for many of us? However, it gives me a continuity of existence though it may not define the nature of my being, the cultural lineage to the place remains valuable nonetheless. Social scientists suggest that such perception is borne out of the realization that the place is neither just a site, nor people, politics or culture, but a chemistry between all this and much more. However, rarely if ever the process of re-alphabetization captures nuances of names, and the cornucopia of their meanings. No wonder, the terrain of placenism has remained a never-ending historical phenomenon revolving around political influence.      

I reckon that in nomenclature are embedded an array of confounding emotions. Despite the politics of the time laying ugly claims over names, what lies immersed in the collective psyche cannot be held back from the people for long. Despite its name being changed to Rupnagar some four decades ago, people of this town in Punjab have held onto its maiden name - Ropar. In similar vein, Mohali is preferred over its official title Sahibzada Ajit Singh Nagar. So seems true for Mumbai and Chennai, where collective memory has conveniently prevailed over the enforced colonial identity. In all these cases, the sub-national identity has seemingly surfaced to claim legitimacy over identity, power and space.

Name brings forth the city through memory, through what is, what was, and its people who leave and return. However, re-alphabetization seems to curb its desires, and restricts its freedom. Prayagraj is a case in point. Meaning the confluence of two rivers, the term prayag lay subsumed within Allahabad. By renaming the iconic city as Prayagraj, the geography of the place has been given prominence over its chequered history. Need it be said that the new name Prayagraj will need lots of feeding, vacuuming, washing, and tuning to remain relevant because it has always been a part of the vast expanse of the socio-cultural landscape called Allahabad. Will erasing memories of the whole for its part be worth the cost, only time will tell. 

If the idea is to exaggerate the character profiles of our existing cities, then re-alphabetization should be used as the metaphor to transform the postscript from the cities' existing nomenclature. After all, there are any number of cities that carry bad and poor as their inborn inheritances. Hydera-bad, Allaha-bad, Kan-poor and Nag-poor are just a few, even in pun lie reflections for a serious attention. Unless re-alphabetization means transformation, one would continue to ask: what's in a name?' 

First published in The Hindu on March 20, 2022.

80. Nothing goes wrong when it is pink

Thoughtful in pink!

For me, the Valentine Day (Feb 14) means chuddies gaining prominence, and that too pink colored. It takes me back to that day over a decade ago when unsuspecting women and men drinking at a bar in Mangalore were at the receiving end of unprovoked violence at the hands of the self-styled moral custodians of an entity called Sri Ram Sena, who had unilaterally held the poor group responsible for violating Indian values. During the weeks that followed the outrageous incident, its leader Pramod Muthalik had something altogether different to confront. Hundreds of pink chuddies (underwear) had literally poured on him from across the country by protesting women. Bravo!

As I recall this highly publicized incident of 2009, I still wonder what might have the controversial recipient done with those colorful pieces of underclothing? Not much is known though about how innumerable pieces of lingerie were finally managed and done with. Were these consigned to the neighborhood garbage dump or disposed of at a throw away price with the local merchandiser? Burning the stockpile publicly would have meant adding fuel to the public ire! For once, nondescript chuddies had come out in the open to attain a cult status, a new tool for peaceful protest.  

Thanks to the novel form of protest initiated by a courageous bunch of women, Nisha Susan, Mihira Sood, Jasmeen Patheja and Isha Manchanda, the otherwise hidden piece of personal wardrobe was finally out in the public as a potent tool to garner public attention for a cause. A couple of years before the incident, Prince Charles had toasted the entry of word chuddies into the English lexicon during a public dinner at the Windsor Castle in 2007. However, it took some twelve years before the poor chuddies passed several linguistic tests to find a place in the dictionary.

Acknowledging that not one but several of these had virtually deluged the moral custodians from raising their heads again, chuddies had ceremoniously entered the Oxford dictionary in 2017, along with other 650 new words at that time. The popular catchphrase 'kiss my chuddies' by actor-comedian Sanjeev Bhaskar in his BBC sitcom 'Goodness Gracious Me' had come handy in letting the underpants slip through to make the final cut to enter the dictionary. It is now official, one can ask for chuddies without any hesitation during the next visit to the neighborhood store.

The evolution of chuddies from a piece of private garment to a tool for public protest is undoubtedly inspiring. That a piece of personal wardrobe can spur a movement for equal rights for women has its place in history. It had once topped the feminine protests. The women who had triggered the 'burn the bra' movement of the 1960s in the US had done so as a symbol that showed independence from men at that time. Since many women thought that it meant freedom to be natural and not pushed up, the ubiquitous piece of underclothing was consigned to freedom trash cans.  

The chuddies seemed to have arrived on the global scene, it has gained recognition that was long due to it. Come to think of it, chuddies is what underpant is not. It is a symbol of freedom. History is all about symbols, and the symbolic chuddies must be taken as a serious critique of the way women continue to get treated in a man's world. That 'history is but a fable agreed upon' must help the evolving story of chuddies be told and retold. Telling stories is what we humans are good at, and nothing better than telling the story of pink chuddies should mark this day today, and in future.  

First published in Outlook on Feb 14, 2022.

79. The fake beauty of winged creatures

The Cottingley Fairies hoax

Even today if you give any child a pair of crayons to draw fairies, without fail winged creatures in different hues will erupt on the drawing sheet. Despite fairies being mythical creatures, these are imprinted on the human mind as omniscient and omnipresent beings!  Perhaps the reason for this belief has to do with us being a storytelling animal, thinking in stories rather than hard facts. Our emerging virtual world has only amplified and consolidated our interest in fakes. 

I recall how the Irish story collector Eddie Lenihan was chided by a woman a decade ago for broadcasting his beliefs about fairies, and the gentleman had defended himself by saying that everyone believed in God although no one had ever seen him. Ironically, not only fairies but witches and ghosts too have lived through times, with as many contesting their so-called existence. The famed images of ‘Cottingley Fairies’, the fake photographs that shook the world in 1917, could fetch £20,000 a century later in 2018 is testimony to their unceasing popularity in literature, and in arts.      

Shot in the village of Cottingley in Yorkshire, this famous picture shows a teenage girl looking at the camera as dancing fairies with butterfly wings appear in the foreground. Claiming to have found the winged creatures gamboling near their home, Elsie Wright, 16, and her 9-year old cousin Frances Griffiths could convince the world, including the great rationalist Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, with indelible proof of the existence of the supernatural beings. Although the fairies in the pictures looked anything but fake, it took some sixty years before the myth was finally busted. 

Despite fairies being the stuff of fancy, whimsy, and childhood,  researchers have drawn fresh perspectives on the cultural meanings of the unceasing fairy-belief. If Sir Doyle could create the literary myth named Sherlock Holmes, Elsie and Francis complimented it with their unforgettable icon, the Cottingley Fairies. It may seem a strange coincidence but the desire to be taken in by faith of some kind during a war-ravaged period could have been the innate cultural compulsion.    

But why would such a notion persist in the present times? One would imagine that the technological revolution across the hundred years between 1917 and 2017 would have buried the numinous otherness of the fairies for good. Conversely, these continue to persist not only in English, Scottish, or Irish imagination but are part of folklore literally across every continent in the world. Every culture has its stories of fairies or nature spirits, from Ireland to China, South Africa to India, and Canada to Australia. 

We live in the times wherein what the majority believes in becomes the truth by default. Should then it matter whether or not fairies are fake when the world has accepted fake as the new real. Hasn’t the world long believed Kardashians to be real without anybody watching them? Should then the belief in fairies not be reinvented to make sense in the present? The belief in fairies has the power to respiritualize nature, much like what the nature spirits, the Navi, demonstrated in James Cameron’s 2009 film Avatar. If faith in fake can have a real impact, let the fairies prevail. 

First published in The Hindu on Jan 9, 2022.