95. The tri-logic of the tripod

Is a tripod a beacon of excellence and innovation? It is said that the tripod approach provides ideas for designing new products, but for most of us a tripod promotes instability. Tripod reflects '3' in numbers, and the three is the cause for uncertainty. Rarely if ever are three friends.

For some reasons, the number '3' is not welcome in social life. Teen Tigada Kaam Bigaada is a popular phrase, which means ‘3’ is the cause for ominous disturbances. People avoid mingling with this number in multiple scenarios, as number three is considered as portent. 

Is everything wrong with ‘three’? Three has more to it than we have understood. It is said that the first time you share tea, you are a stranger. The second time you share tea, you are an honored guest. The third time you share a cup of tea, you become family. 

  

Should it not make us rethink on '3'?

In religion and in science, ‘3’ is a formidable number. If trinity of three gods is a reflection of the divine, the atom with three fundamental particles is the essence of life. Come to think of it, it is the ‘three’ that strikes a distinct balance between ‘creation’, ‘maintenance’, and ‘destruction’. 

One may need to contemplate a bit to get a sense of it. A car is a moving example of how ‘three’ plays a critical role in mobility, with a balance between ‘speed’, ‘brake’, and ‘acceleration’. Imagine, the chaos if there was no gravity to promote deceleration. The analogy of a car reflects how most of us have lost control on our lives.

Finally, we must realize that mind, body and spirit are indeed the tripod of being. 

We can draw philosophical reason by applying the tri-logic at various stages of life. Applying this parable may lead us to appreciate the need for striking a balance between the ‘three’. Trouble is that ‘deprivation’ guides our decisions regarding access to ‘materials’, ‘assets’, and ‘situations’. Balancing act between the ‘three’ is critical for making a sense of meaningful life. 

94. Why do we avoid talking about it?

For the Iranians, talking about death is natural. Since the family often buy burial land, an Iranian friend once told me, that having family picnic on such landed property is but natural. Their only child would often insist on being buried between parents. This reflects cultural acceptance of 'death' as an integral part of life. They consider 'life' to be trapped between 'birth' and 'death', as a package. Death literacy is more of a norm.

But why don't we talk about it when none of us can ever escape it? Are we socially and culturally primed to abstain from it? Do we gain by not talking about it? Perhaps, it is the inherent fear of the known that is bound to dawn on everyone someday.  

Talking about 'death' in our society is taboo, and surprisingly so when death all around. Death as a subject of conversation is a big NO. Even death at a ripe age of 90+ is regretted. It gets talked about after it actually happens, and that too briefly. Yudhisthira had rightly remarked: "The greatest wonder is that everyday death strikes, yet we live as if were immortal."   

Death is permanent and who doesn't know it, but avoiding conversation on it seems an unwritten dictum. Come to think of it, ours is a death-avoidant society in words. 

Primitive societies are known to have celebrated ‘death’, and few instances remain of counting death as a ‘virtue’. If ‘death’ actually means ‘re-birth’, it is said, then why must it not be a cause for celebration? Ironically, rebirth remains more of a myth - an issue worthy of discussion. Not ever is an effort made to read scriptures differently to understand death as an integral part of life.

Whatever be it, can anyone escape the reality of death? Why then avoid talking about ‘death’? Such cultural reluctance to talk about death results in avoiding major decisions - type and need of end-care; organ/body donation; and choice of funeral preferences. Unsurprisingly, India ranks 67 among 85 countries on the Global Quality of Death Index.

Death is not talked about because we all want to live longer. We want to be in control until the very end.  Death is viewed as a realm of human condition, that can be medically avoided. In a landmark work of cultural history ‘The Work of the Dead’ (Princeton Univ Press), Thomas Laqueur examines how societies have cared about the dead, without any effort towards discussing the subject of ‘death’. However, in recent days ‘death cafe’ has emerged in many cities where ‘death’ as a subject gets talked about.

First published in www.raagdelhi.com